Sexual Assault Girl sexually assaulted by girl

[xoxocee]

Hello,

I've been having difficulty finding stories like mine online, and I was just wondering if there's anyone out there who has experienced something similar to me? I was sexually assaulted by a girl (I am a girl as well) when I was a child. I feel like there is no place where I can tell my story because it seems like such a taboo. I can't find many stories online either that I can identify with and feel very isolated.

-- C.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

I am SO sorry that this happened to you! I was molested by boys when I was 5-ish and that carried enough shame, that I can't even imagine how much grief and pain that you are dealing with! I hope that you are seeking help, no matter what age you are! The earlier the better. I didn't start working on those issues until I was almost 50...not realizing that I had been affected for my whole life.

Beyond a shadow of a doubt, it was NOT about YOU! It was all about the girl who assaulted you, although you bear the scars, which ARE REAL! I believe that inner scars cause MUCH more damage than the visible scars do. There is plastic surgery, makeup, and scars are kind of like "proof" that you have been injured, if that makes sense?

There IS a taboo about the girl/girl abuse, which I would think is similar to a boy being assaulted by another boy, because of the stigma against same sex relationships. Being sexually assaulted is difficult, painful, and traumatic under ALL circumstances, ESPECIALLY when it occurs during childhood.

From what I have learned, shame seeps it's way into every part of us, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually! You didn't mention anything about whether you were raised in a church going home, or a home that didn't include church or God into the family unit. My dad was a minister, so I was raised in an environment that taught unworthiness, shame, and was taught the idea that if something happened to us, that it was somehow related to our relationship with God. That environment makes being sexually assaulted even more traumatic.

I don't know if my response is helping at all, but I wanted you to know that I am validating your experience, and the trail of pain that has followed you...PLEASE see a therapist that is trained in sexual abuse trauma? It will make ALL the difference in the world!

Blessings of peace sent your way!
AKJ

 

[xoxocee]

I am SO sorry that this happened to you! I was molested by boys when I was 5-ish and that carri...

Thanks so much for your kind words, that means a lot. I am seeking help from a therapist. I am reaching out here because I think it would do me good if I heard other stories of women who have been sexually assaulted/raped by women, especially since this type of sexual violence is not talked about. And since it is such a taboo I feel alone and isolated in my feelings. I guess what I am looking for is stories like my own so that I know I'm not alone or the only one who has experienced this. But again, thanks so much for responding to my thread. That really helps :)

--C

 

[Deleted member 40995]

My circumstances aren’t the same but I was abused by a woman, my mother, in a sexual way in some instances. Her forcing me to remove my clothing for her in a sexual way, she would video tape me in the shower and I’d beg and cry and ask her not to but she still would. She did a lot more that I won’t go into here, just wanted to tell you you have my support, sending hugs :hug: I’m a woman and was abused by a woman too :hug:

 

[NewBeginnings]

So sorry to hear. You are not alone. I am sure there are others who have experienced same sex trauma in childhood. My experience was layered upon a childhood of csa - when I was in college I was manipulated and blackmailed by a woman. I got really drunk and she did all sorts of sexual things- i remember telling her no and that I was not a lesbian. - she said I never experienced pleasure by a woman- I passed out -she said I liked it and begged for more- (that was not how i remembered it) she took pictures which she used to blackmail me- anyway these expereinces bring up shame and add more shame of it being same sex when that was not my choice created a bad scene for me. As if I didn’t have other issues previously - I acted out by putting myself in risky situations and became an “easy” woman and I got hurt a lot. I wish i could say it goes away but learning that is not how this all works.

I am sorry for your experiences.

 

[anonymous]

CSA is very difficult and the sex of the other person or is not really important. Just like it's not important if there was seemingly nothing coercive or violent about it. Someone you knew and trusted could have introduced the idea the first time. It may not seem like CSA. I did not understand I had been sexually abused because everything I remembered seemed to innocent (naughty maybe) like everyone wanted to. Just because it was same sex and women makes no difference. It does not mean you are somehow different either. Look for other survivors of CSA you won't feel lonely. There are so many of us. There are plenty here.

 

[Lamename01234]

I am female and was abused by an older female when I was ages 15 to 18 she was in her 30's. I blocked a lot out. Until she reached out to me on social media 25 years later. I agree sex does not matter it is all abuse.

 

[Greencats]

I am female. When I was a child I was taken care of by a nanny, she was female. I blocked out these memories until I became a young adult. She used to rub my genitals nicely, and sometimes she would hurt my genitals. Thank you for sharing this because I thought I was alone...

 

[Deleted member 40995]

I am female. When I was a child I was taken care of by a nanny, she was female. I blocked out these m...

You are not alone :hug: it’s really good to hear others had experiences with this also. It is a lesser discussed topic and it’s good to know we aren’t alone

 

[Rumors]

@Rosie11
I disagree with those that say the sex of your abuser doesn't matter. There is an extra component of shame and confusion that is added when your abuser is of the same sex. It leaves you wondering if that makes you gay or if perhaps you are gay and would have been regardless. And please don't misunderstand me, gay or straight it makes no difference to me AT ALL. However, growing up/sexuality are confusing enough without having the extra confusion of abuse from a same sex partner. Just my opinion...

 

[Lamename01234]

@Rumors I first replied sex of the abuser does not matter but I see your point. The woman that abused me also groomed me to please her male partner also as she watched. He was rough and mean she was kind and loving. As an adult I gravitated to female relationships with older women. I have recently questioned how much of this messed with my sexuality. Oftentimes when being raped he would ridicule me for liking it with the woman. IDK it is all f--ked up.

 

[Deleted member 40995]

@Rosie11
I disagree with those that say the sex of your abuser doesn't matter. There...

Agreed, it is definitely not discussed as much and it should be it’s a difficult topic