I understand because I was married 3 decades to a man who was 'Narc". I stayed 30 years too long in a marriage that was nothing more than a fraud. I stayed to raise the kids, pay bills, dream that this person would change. I lived in denial. I kept telling myself I'd divorce him after the kids went to college or after his BD was over or after I went through more counseling because I would imagine it was my fault he lied, cheated, gambled, whatever. I promise you that these types cannot change. They have a personality disorder that is so ingrained, so incurable, and my exH seemed almost inhuman to me at the end. He told me one day that he was just a hedonist and that was that, he had no intention of changing. I did leave, and honestly, never looked back nor regretted my decision, but I did feel unloved for many years and had to work on that. My advice is that No Contact is the only route to take to stop the abuses and further trauma. We all have to reach that point when we declare "Nuff's E Nuff". Not easy to change addresses, cell phones, refuse to engage again or have magical thinking they will change. To me, it's a disease of their soul, a dead spiritual being, empty.
But caution, if you let them get a foot in your door, they'll glady bust back in your life and create some bad drama. You could end up being re-traumatized and back to square one.
But caution, if you let them get a foot in your door, they'll glady bust back in your life and create some bad drama. You could end up being re-traumatized and back to square one.
