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- #13
susannahsays
Confident
@Rumors I don't really want to get into the details here (because, shame), but the origin of the shame is not a mystery. It has a lot to do with violating cultural/societal values and norms, and the fact that it was a situation I couldn't control actually just compounds my "offense." These values don't happen to be a very positive force regardless of the situation, but they're instilled in us from an early age regardless. So I intellectually understand why - and a big part of me even believes - that I should be ashamed just based on beliefs that everyone has on some level (who hasn't consciously chosen to believe something different and worked hard to do so). Then things that were said to me at the time by the perpetrator also don't help, although I'd certainly struggle less to disregard his nonsense if it wasn't for the deep-rooted systemic beliefs.