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Dom Violence I'm really struggling - lonely & sad without abusive ex. how long is the grieving going to take?

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I had to recognize my freedom, embrace it, and find a new me
I only got one flavor-the really crappy hurtful stingy abusive part of him

It is surreal how they save "the nasties" for us. But it is the unwritten and how they get away with it. I perpetuated it too....just recently folks inquired about my "amazing husband" and what he is up to. It always stings when that happens. But its not their fault....he fooled me and i married him! But I was so ashamed and horrified most of the time I just didn't want anyone to know so I pretended and played along. I couldn't see it at the time but I enabled him totally but he also had me scared to death.

And I cried reading your posts.

I feel the same way. I am overcome at times by the camaraderie and support I feel from total strangers. It is an amazing thing.

Please do write the reality down, it is a great way to vent and for me ...... It could be hard at times as the reality was shocking....but it is something I was grateful to put in black and white. When I started a list of events...I was stunned how many there were, it seems an endless list anymore. In order to survive in the midst of it I had to block a lot of it out. I also saw a pattern emergy....and it means nothing to anyone but me but my fears over the years were 1000% justified and I came to see his actions 1000% premeditated. He set me up from the start. It was an early fear I tried to dismiss but I was right back then.

Take care and I hope you are feeling a bit better. You aren't alone and we are all walking this path together, some ahead, some behind but it is not a race and we can all help each other along the way. Many left me "bread crumbs" to follow to a brighter place and I am eternally grateful.

Whirlwind
 
Honestly I just feel completely crazy this week, very very up and down, mostly down. Keep crying randomly. I read over a hand out from women's aid and there's a bit about it feeling strange when people are nice to us, like new people. I really feel that, it's confusing. I feel like I don't deserve people being nice to me or having nice people become my friends. It's weird. I wish I could stop crying too!
 
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