Good and bad in healing

[Widow_of_one]

I started having intense flashbacks about 2 years ago and I have been aware of the pain I have had to endure great emotional pain by seeing (for the first time) what really happened to me as a child. Seeing my beloved grandmother as an enabler (aka accessory) and my moms’ youngest brother as my grandfather’s “little helper” has been some extreme lows I wouldn’t wish in anyone! Today it dawned on me that 3 weeks ago today I was listening to music and I felt as I did my year abroad: alive, happy, smart, - eureka! Those positive feelings had nothing to do with the boy I left behind but rather this is how I felt when I was myself (ie fat fat far away from my family)! So there is good in flashbacks and bad.
Also, I’ve been noticing that I feel clearer inside of my head. And at times I am actually happy! Just wanted to mention this because I know that at times healing bums me out! Also I’ve realized that I am putting the brakes on my recovery!

 

[grit]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It is encouraging to me.

 

[pam4him]

So happy you had the revelation. That is a great breakthrough. It's okay to take some time to revel in the good for a bit. Then use energy to propel you forward as you work on recovery. Recovery often happens in spirals or waves, but if you can stick with it, the spirals become tighter and affect less pieces of your life, and the waves can lessen to ripples. Hang in there, you got this! Prayers for guidance and peace on your journey.

 

[Widow_of_one]

So happy you had the revelation. That is a great breakthrough. It's okay to take some time to revel in the good for a bit. Then use energy to propel you forward as you work on recovery. Recovery often happens in spirals or waves, but if you can stick with it, the spirals become tighter and affect less pieces of your life, and the waves can lessen to ripples. Hang in there, you got this! Prayers for guidance and peace on your journey.

Thank you!!