Hey everyone, my name is Dave. 29 yrs old. Served with 3d ACR in Iraq OIF/OND. Diagnosed with PTSD. Going through inpatient treatment now. Fighting to keep my marriage together. PTSD tore us apart, between not wanting to talk and constantly thinking, reliving my past and 3 times before I should have got help. We cant change the past but we can change the future. Stay strong brothers and sisters
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Good Morning!!!
- Post starter FishNH
- Start date
- Status
Welcome to the forum mate. Your right about not being able to change the past, but what we do today impacts on our future.
There are a lot of us on here that have lost our marriages or that too much damage was done once we were diagnosed.
My recommendation is to stay honest and upfront.
There are a lot of us on here that have lost our marriages or that too much damage was done once we were diagnosed.
My recommendation is to stay honest and upfront.
Mastranios
New Here
Welcome,
A lot of are going through very similar things so you are not alone. Keep up the good fight and stay strong!
A lot of are going through very similar things so you are not alone. Keep up the good fight and stay strong!
Friday
Sponsor
Welcome!
dutchiedelta
Platinum Member
Welcome and good to hear you're working on yourself.
- Post starter
- #6
reddevil1111
Diamond Member
Welcome to the forum. I hope you can salvage the marriage. If you end up not being able to do so understand most of us were not able to do so either. Your not alone in this.
The best thing about this site is the fact that no matter what military or job we did, we are all the same here. We all have combat related PTSD. Its the only place I know of that I can be open about my issues and get frank and honest reply's.
This site is a gold mine.
The best thing about this site is the fact that no matter what military or job we did, we are all the same here. We all have combat related PTSD. Its the only place I know of that I can be open about my issues and get frank and honest reply's.
This site is a gold mine.
- Post starter
- #9
Who's Frank? I kid man, thank you very much. We have 15 month old son with many medical conditions so that is a stressor on the marriage. Not saying we regret him, hell no we dont, best thing that ever happened to me, really never knew true love until him. Amazing little guy. Just feels like she forgot about me.
reddevil1111
Diamond Member
Back,
Man that does add to the stress. And I bet she has forgotten to some degree about you. When I got married I explained my theory about how it was all supposed to work. The kids came first above everything else. then my spouse came next. Then I did.
I couldn't apply that in my first marriage. She just was concerned about herself. My second wife is very different. She and I both work hard to place each other in front of the other. Its not always easy to do. But it is very rewarding when you have done it and the other person realizes that you did. Very powerful.
I don't doubt your lady has placed your son above your problems. She had a kid. Your married to her and I am sure she loves you and all that mushy stuff... but a kid? Especially a sick kid? WOW! that's a person she raised inside her. Most moms will always put the kids above everything else. I think my first wife was an exception to the rule.
Maybe a new approach is needed? Thank her for what she has done. Seriously. Tell her you know its been hard. Be honest. Tell her your feelings about how you feel like your being ignored. But before you do, I would have a plan in place. If it were me, I would tell her how you plan to remove some form of stress she is dealing with concerning your son. Maybe offering to take him to a medical appointment so she can stay home and catch a nap or a hot bubble bath. Something to show her you care about her. Not just words, deeds. Action before words. Don't just do it once, do it a lot.
Making changes yourself should open her eyes and help her want to do things differently for you. It will show you just what your relationship is all about in a short time. If she reacts and replicates your actions, you have a keeper.
Good luck!
Man that does add to the stress. And I bet she has forgotten to some degree about you. When I got married I explained my theory about how it was all supposed to work. The kids came first above everything else. then my spouse came next. Then I did.
I couldn't apply that in my first marriage. She just was concerned about herself. My second wife is very different. She and I both work hard to place each other in front of the other. Its not always easy to do. But it is very rewarding when you have done it and the other person realizes that you did. Very powerful.
I don't doubt your lady has placed your son above your problems. She had a kid. Your married to her and I am sure she loves you and all that mushy stuff... but a kid? Especially a sick kid? WOW! that's a person she raised inside her. Most moms will always put the kids above everything else. I think my first wife was an exception to the rule.
Maybe a new approach is needed? Thank her for what she has done. Seriously. Tell her you know its been hard. Be honest. Tell her your feelings about how you feel like your being ignored. But before you do, I would have a plan in place. If it were me, I would tell her how you plan to remove some form of stress she is dealing with concerning your son. Maybe offering to take him to a medical appointment so she can stay home and catch a nap or a hot bubble bath. Something to show her you care about her. Not just words, deeds. Action before words. Don't just do it once, do it a lot.
Making changes yourself should open her eyes and help her want to do things differently for you. It will show you just what your relationship is all about in a short time. If she reacts and replicates your actions, you have a keeper.
Good luck!
Great advice Red!
Back, I went through a similar situation with my kids when they were born. I think its the mother thing to protect her offspring. It part of our wild kingdom. I know I am down and heading out she expects me to man up and do my responsibilities as a father. Its tough. One of the greatest pains are stress I have to work on. Managing my stress level sovi can function is key right now.
Back, I went through a similar situation with my kids when they were born. I think its the mother thing to protect her offspring. It part of our wild kingdom. I know I am down and heading out she expects me to man up and do my responsibilities as a father. Its tough. One of the greatest pains are stress I have to work on. Managing my stress level sovi can function is key right now.
- Post starter
- #12
Right now, being inpatient rehab, I ask if she wants to get together for a bit and she says she needs this time too. What I didn't mention is she hadn't really been around past 3 months because she's dealing with her own shit too and ive treated her so badly last 3 yrs since I got back. Im sorry if I sound like im bitching, just frustrated and put plainly, scared. Scared of what the future holds
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