Guilty About Opening Up

[Shaan]

Hi, I've been going through a lot lately.

I had some stupid silly things that happened in the past and it suddenly came back to me in a way that I broke down and let it out to my friends. I feel that one of them has taken it in the wrong way and may someday bring up the topic again which may affect me and my life. I feel so scared. I don't want anyone to know, but now I have opened up my chances. And yes, she is a trustworthy friend, but I haven't seen her in years. I just get in touch with her when I have problems so I feel the next time I meet her this topic may just be remembered!

 

[Recovery4Me]

nd yes she is a trustworthy friend

((Shaan))

I am often scared, right after I share my vulnerability with someone. Sometimes it was a valid concern but mostly it was MY trust issues and my inner critic working overtime in my head. I have learned a lot about the need for being vulnerable (healthy way to share authentically) and then understood my ensuing unhealthy immediate shame from Ted Talks which is a site of authors, professionals, inventors,ect. Brene` Brown and her free lectures were such an inspiration that I often go back to watch- to stop my fear of transparency. Boom! right in it's tracks.:ninja:

Truth and vulnerability may feel uncomfortable, may feel like weakness but it is a sign of courage. Glad that you have a friend that you can trust and whom understood your courage with sharing. Bravo!

 

[Ti Vu]

I agree with @Recovery4Me it takes a tremendous amount of courage to let someone, even a proven, trustworthy friend, into your life. I'm still not at that level yet. Sometimes it just builds up, and it pours out of us. And who better to tell it to than those who consider you and who you consider a friend?

I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds, but I feel that there's also a certain comfort knowing that we're not going it alone, you know?

 

[Shaan]

I sometimes don't feel this guilty. But yes sometimes I do. This particular thing was something to do with some guy something wrong happened and I was not responsible for it and now am getting married and everything just came back and I thought I would tell my fiance and so I took help from my friends and one f them kinda took it in a totally wrong way. Nobody ever knew about it and I jus feel that i should have just kept it that way. If tomorrow m happy no one of them just casually asks or reminds me of it or I'm going to breakdown again.

Any other thing I could probably still do with if I was reminded of but not this. Met with a therapist and he made me realize that there is no need to say anything to someone if I didn't intend anything wrong from my side.

So I decided not to tell my fiance, but opened up doors where he may come to know. I'm super scared. I know my friends would not tell him, but they may remind me of it which in turn would make me super anxious and I may just blurt it out in a way that he wouldn't want to hear! Words spoken when anxious are always scary. :speechless: