Had Enough

[Ellie]

I've had enough. I don't know any more how to keep going. My poor daughter needs me and I don't know how to keep doing life.

 

[rosey]

@Ellie so sorry to hear you are feeling so bad right now. Hard to know what to say with no real details but i find routine helps when i feel like that. Structuring the day or even hour usually around my 2 childrens needs. I try to focus on then even looking at nice photos. They hold me up and i feel guilty for that (they dont know they do) but hold onto that girl of yours she needs you and loved you.

 

[aut555]

Think what got me through was my daughter. She kept me on autopilot. Now that she is an adult, l am glad l kept it together. It is no longer dark for me, and l felt it was important for her to have the support of one loving parent to deal with things. Hope this helps you. You must stay centered to help raise an emotionally healthly child. Sending a care basket of compassion.

 

[Ellie]

Thank you to both of you, that gave me the courage to step up and out of my state of mind this evening to be present and focused with my little girl. She fell asleep after rocking to a lullaby in my arms this evening and I felt human again being able to fulfil my mummy role for her.

I'm currently weening off benzodiazepines after a particularly rough time with extreme anxiety and suffering some nasty withdrawal symptoms. Alongside a new job which began last week as a full time lecturer in HE and with my husband just being diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome this month, PLUS the three of us having just moved to a new city with no friendship network, life is tough right now. Just hanging in there every day to try to be a loving and present mum is my main aim atm. Today I really thought I couldn't do it any more. PTSD is mean like that. You think you've hit rock bottom and then you find there's a new level beneath that and somehow you're still struggling through it...

 

[Gadgie]

Aye! but there is the fact that once you've hit rock bottom, there is only one way to go, and that's.....UP!

I remember feeling like that a few months ago, I was almost at the point of calling it a day. But I found the strength from somewhere to climb up, and look over the edge of the hole I was in, and saw a different view!

Ever since then, I've been working my way out of that deep hole, it's not been easy, but there's no way I'm going fall back into it now, good luck, and keep fighting.

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug:

 

[rosey]

@Ellie gosh you certain have had a lot going on no wonder you are feeling rough that is a lot all at once. Take it easy when you can and kid hugs are great for bringing it all back together