Happy Feelings And Energy Hits A Brick Wall

[lorrainess]

Does anyone get this, having feelings/ vague thoughts of wanting so much to laugh, smile, do things, get out and live, speak to people and then realizing you can't then cry

This has been going on for years, but i really felt it badly today, i dont feel i deserve to be happy because of things i've done and the uncomfortableness/fear of the thoughts, feelings and interactions with people, going out, i miss smiling and laughing so much, and feeling its safe to show love,

any tips greatly appreciated

 

[Deadman]

I have indeed felt that way. I've accepted that happiness may be too lofty a goal for me. I do laugh from time to time. I am trying to make new friends. Having a dog helps with that.

Why do you think you don't deserve to be happy? We all make mistakes or bad choices.

 

[lorrainess]

I have indeed felt that way. I've accepted that happiness may be too lofty a goal for me. I do laugh fr...

Hi, nice to actually talk to someone for the first time who has the some if the same feelings, I have done some stuff, you might not want to hear it, some people in the world dont agree with it, or it can upset them, im constantly criticising people in my mind, hate, disliking, feeling above or inferior to people, even when i just watch the tv, its so tiring, and it means i cant be in the company of people for very long at all, the sense i get feel over whelming and i get headaches all the time because of it. I have 2 cats, they have been a constant source of warmth and love and a reminder to me that i have love in me

 

[Agatha]

Hi Lorrainess
I am struggling with this very problem at the moment. I'm feeling like I want to live - I have lots and lots of ideas of what I'd like to do whizzing round my head but when I get to starting it I just freeze and can't do it. I find it SOOO frustrating. Hours can be lost in a day just going round and round in my head.
I've tried timetabling things in, tried 'bribing' myself and getting others to encourage me. The best I can manage is teeny-weeny little steps at the moment.
I've created a little poster for myself that has 3 columns in it for each day; 1 for mindfulness, 2 for exercise, 3 for creativity. If I manage anything vaguely from a box I tick it. This makes me see what I am actually managing to do, what works for me but also serves as a good reference for my family to see when I'm struggling.
Don't be hard on yourself; little steps are still steps in the right direction (MUST keep telling myself this)

 

[lorrainess]

Hi Agatha,

the columns sounds like a great idea, im a serious list maker, but have found its just temp fixing and wishful thinking, until i can get some relief through therapy/talking through certain stuff. I seem to be on default being hard on myself, my head seems to non stop criticize myself and others, sounds like your doing good, wish you well and thanks for replying

Lorraine

 

[Agatha]

Lorraine, I too am tremendously hard on myself. I think this is par for the course. I'm trying to view it like a symptom (well it is a symptom) after all i guess i wouldn't get wound up over why I was limping if I'd hurt my foot. I'm really trying make it background noise and just do little positive things.crikey it's hard isn't it?!

 

[lorrainess]

Lorraine, I too am tremendously hard on myself. I think this is par for the course. I'm trying to view i...

Flippin nightmare, and its been very lonely

 

[Agatha]

I've only just joined this forum, and i can see you have too Lorraine. Hopefully we'll be able to get some support from like minded people on here.
How's your day been?

 

[lorrainess]

I've only just joined this forum, and i can see you have too Lorraine. Hopefully we'll be able to get so...

Hi Agatha,

yeah this forum looks quite amazing, nice surprise to find it, especially after i stopped using a different one which i didnt find good. How's your day been?

 

[Agatha]

Hi Lorraine. I'm in total agreement with you about this forum. It seems much more proactive and positive than other forums I've looked at. I don't feel like it is bogging me down.
I've had a funny couple of days. I'm currently in the early stages of EMDR which is working but still very difficult to go through. This week i was really revved up for going to it then the therapist ending up cancelling due to her ill health. I totally understand this happened but I've struggled with the store of emotions that were already to leak out but then didn't have anywhere to go. Does that make sense?
On the plus side it's lovely weather here today and my husband and I are are trying to get some serious organising happening in the house and garden. Hope you've got sunshine both in the sky and you mind today :-)

 

[lorrainess]

Hi Lorraine. I'm in total agreement with you about this forum. It seems much more proactive and positive...

Hi Agatha,

Im so sorry i'm just replying now, had a rough time, did you have edmr yet, if so what was it like?

thanks

Lorraine

 

[Agatha]

Hi Lorraine - I'm sorry to hear you've been having a rough time. Is it a particularly bad time or just the 'usual' ? I wondered where you were. Glad you've been back in touch. I've started the EMDR and it is being very very productive. I won't say it's easy at all but the results have been incredible. Unfortunately I've got quite a lot of stuff to work through but the bits we have done already feel like they're in a more measured order. The memories feel more stored away as opposed to battering me all the time. So all good. Is EMDR something you might be able to have? I do hope you have a better day today, do feel free to get in touch. :-)