D
Deleted member 1860
Yes, hate is a choice.
I'm not saying its an easy choice, but yes, I do believe that in many cases, it is indeed a choice that we make.
I know that many of us have hatred inside of us for what was done to us, how we never got justice, etc. But, I do believe that we can make a choice to not hate.
Five+ years ago I made the choice to let go of all feelings toward the person who sexually abused me. I was going through hell at the time. I knew that I had to speak out, and that I would speak out by reporting her. I knew this was how I would regain my voice. I also knew that this was the only and final step that I would take in seeking out any sort of justice. Yes, a pittance considering it is a complete lack of justice, but it is what it is. Of course I could have sued, but that wasn't in my best interest in terms of healing, either. (And I would have likely lost the case and completely ruined my chances at healing as well.) So once the reporting was done, I knew it was time to let HER go. It was time to focus on myself as she had taken too much of my life already. It was literally like a switch flipped in my mind and I knew that I would no longer feel hate for her or what she had done to me. In a sense, I was free.
I am now struggling with my mother. The triggers are INSANE! My emotions are off the wall as I am so angry for what she has done to me since birth. (Emotionally/verbally abusive, alcoholic, narcissistic traits galore.) And then I read the thread in the Anon forum about hate. It dawned on me that I now have the power to let go of the hatred toward my mother. I know its not easy, but I know its a step that I must take....that I am taking. A lot of the anger was hiding the pain. I know the pain isn't going to go away overnight, but I think I am ready to go through the mourning phase. I no longer want to hate her because the hate only eats me alive. Again, the decision to not hate was like a switch being flipped in my mind, a complete change in my mindset. I am taking back my power. She is no longer going to dominate my emotions.
I'm not saying its an easy choice, but yes, I do believe that in many cases, it is indeed a choice that we make.
I know that many of us have hatred inside of us for what was done to us, how we never got justice, etc. But, I do believe that we can make a choice to not hate.
Five+ years ago I made the choice to let go of all feelings toward the person who sexually abused me. I was going through hell at the time. I knew that I had to speak out, and that I would speak out by reporting her. I knew this was how I would regain my voice. I also knew that this was the only and final step that I would take in seeking out any sort of justice. Yes, a pittance considering it is a complete lack of justice, but it is what it is. Of course I could have sued, but that wasn't in my best interest in terms of healing, either. (And I would have likely lost the case and completely ruined my chances at healing as well.) So once the reporting was done, I knew it was time to let HER go. It was time to focus on myself as she had taken too much of my life already. It was literally like a switch flipped in my mind and I knew that I would no longer feel hate for her or what she had done to me. In a sense, I was free.
I am now struggling with my mother. The triggers are INSANE! My emotions are off the wall as I am so angry for what she has done to me since birth. (Emotionally/verbally abusive, alcoholic, narcissistic traits galore.) And then I read the thread in the Anon forum about hate. It dawned on me that I now have the power to let go of the hatred toward my mother. I know its not easy, but I know its a step that I must take....that I am taking. A lot of the anger was hiding the pain. I know the pain isn't going to go away overnight, but I think I am ready to go through the mourning phase. I no longer want to hate her because the hate only eats me alive. Again, the decision to not hate was like a switch being flipped in my mind, a complete change in my mindset. I am taking back my power. She is no longer going to dominate my emotions.
