Poll Have You Had To Abandon Any Nicknames Because Of Trauma?

[Jester]

I abandoned my given name for my nickname because of my trauma, and the only people who call me by my given name are extended relatives (who I see maybe once a decade). I also shy away from certain derivatives of my given name because they were used to taunt me, and the flashbacks are a bit much to handle when I hear those names.

 

[Karen12]

Not exactly a nickname but I still hate hearing my first and middle names said together because that is what my parents called me when I was in "trouble" which meant I was going to get hit soon.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

No, not because of trauma. I changed my preferred name because I didn't like the nickname I was given as a child.

 

[flowerapple]

I wasn't given any nicknames, but he would always call me by my last name, so I can't really escape that unless I legally change my name which is too much work. I don't like when people call me by my last name though because it makes me immediately do back to that time. Only a few times does it not affect me and that is if it is said by a female, I guess it is the sound of their voices not being deep. But if a male says it, it scares the hell out of me.

 

[Swift]

I actually did sort of the opposite. I abandoned my real birth name for my nickname. Now my legal name is...

Thank you. I thought I was the only one.

 

[Sweetleaf]

I'm also swapping my birth name for a nickname.
As soon as I'm able to afford it, I'm going to be legally changing my name in order to be harder to find.
I don't use my birth name anymore and I want to escape everything to do with both my first and last name.

 

[Still Standing]

I have always been known by my nickname which is really a regular name, though a short version of my legal one. Mo mom would drum into me that I was obligated to sign by my legal name. Thus, to this day, I have a very hard time signing my nickname...everything is with my legal name. Yet, my mom did not follow her own advice. She was quite mentally ill from early on and struggled with her identity. She changed her name from Edna, to Patricia, to Patsy, to Pat, and back to Edna through the years. It was odd to have to keep adjusting to her ever changing identities. We, kids, sorta ran with the changes. We could by pass most of the awkwardness by simply calling her "mom". If we introduced her to someone, which was seldom, we used whatever her favorite name was, at that moment. Mom was married 4 times and she also would switch her last name from one husband to another and back to her second husband's last name. It was quite a juggling act.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

My name is Julia, but all my life I was called Julie. I never liked Julie, but my mother hated the name Julia. So, about ten years ago, I broke from my family, moved away, and got a new job. No one knew me as Julie, and I've been Julia ever since!

Thanks for this thread. It's great!

 

[Swift]

Thank you. I thought I was the only one.

The feeling is mutual! I thought I was the only one too!

 

[Aki]

I'm glad that I found this thread and that people feel the same way as me.
I just can't feel connected to my given name anymore. I go by a nickname I chose, except business stuff etc. I'm asian but don't have an asian name which wouldn't bother me so much actually. But my mother often told me she didn't liked it while being abusive at home. Then the kids in school would make fun of it because it doesn't fit my appearance. The last straw was when my father appeared calling me by a totally different name that he chose for me, thinking my mother would have named me like that. I just feel that my official name is not me.

 

[frogthroat]

My mom calls me "Little Squawks" and it doesn't bother me. It never has. My male abuser called me "dogslut" so much that when I'm doing real bad I almost sign my name as that. Thank God I'll never hear that one again but ever since I startes EMDR hardcore the distress associated with it has been greatly reduced

 

[Not_Jenny]

Like the original poster, I'm also a Jennifer who gave up "Jenny" after developing PTSD because it's...

Like OP and this Jennifer, I'm also a Jennifer having given up "Jenny" after trauma. Only family calls me Jenny and I don't like it when they do. Like my sister did when she got married, I'm thinking of legally changing my name to my middle name and picking a new middle name.

I am about to graduate from undergrad college, so I think now is the time if ever to ask people to call me by my new name.

Names definitely have power and I don't want the power of my old name to be used against me. I want to choose my own name to reclaim myself.