Haven’t been here in a while :(

[Dynamic]

I’m really sick :( I need support. I should contact a therapist as well.

I haven’t eaten In days barely sleeping

Now can hardly stop crying

My cycle is about to start and for those that know that’s really hard sometimes and then I have a letter on my vanity staring at me I can’t open!

All of a sudden I have no strength or ability and I can’t open a letter

My bf said something like don’t drag it out and my mom said don’t open the letter now if I don’t want to

But I have to

And my ex is involved and he needs to know what the letter says too and he blew me off of course and I fell apart

Why would I rely on my ex husband to help
He helps at other times well
He said he’s stressed and triggered too

But I’m literally the one doing the paperwork so I feel bad like he doesn’t care bc he blew me off

He fell asleep and that’s believable but the attitude following has no care so I guess not blowing off

Yeah I am too fast

I am too much
Too sick
If you can sit with me or offer support or encouragement about when

You all of sudden have no strength and it feels like you’ll have to redo every trauma work but you don’t but it feels that way

And can’t get along with anyone and keeping everyone away from me

it’s just a letter!?

I have rage tho
I’m scared and I’m tired and sweaty and I cried on the shower floor I don’t have energy to cry but I have a lot of cry :(

 

[Dynamic]

I’m devastated and I remember how much worse everything used to hurt and it makes me cry it all makes me cry and I want it to stop now

 

[Movingforward10]

The letter is triggering?

Does it need to be opened right now or can it wait?

If it does need opening right now, can someone else open it and read it to you? Would that help?
Is the letter the start of more tasks that feel too much?

Sorry you are going through thisaube baby steps forward with the letter, a little at a time?
Eating, sleeping, etc might be the place to stabilise a bit before the letter?

 

[Nairobi]

If the letter is not an emergency, maybe you can just take a time to stabilise a little before open It

Put the letter in a place where you can not see It

Put the phone in airplane mode or whatever so you can not see messages of your exhusband pressuring you to open It

Sleep, rest, and when you feel better, then open it

We are here to support you

 

[Dynamic]

Thanks for the replies and support

Currently going to doc to get some new calm meds bc Xanax hasnt worked for me well enough anymore

 

[Teasel]

Sending a big hug
Really sorry things are so difficult for you just now.
Hope the doc can offer something that helps you.

 

[Freida]

Happy to see you back - sad about what brought you here.

I agree with the others - it's not "just a letter"
It's something big and scary and upsetting - maybe giving it some time away from you would be helpful?

Hope the doc can help

 

[Susan Jane]

I’m really sick :( I need support. I should contact a therapist as well.

I haven’t eaten In days barely sleeping

Now can hardly stop crying

My cycle is about to start and for those that know that’s really hard sometimes and then I have a letter on my vanity staring at me I can’t open!

All of a sudden I have no strength or ability and I can’t open a letter

My bf said something like don’t drag it out and my mom said don’t open the letter now if I don’t want to

But I have to

And my ex is involved and he needs to know what the letter says too and he blew me off of course and I fell apart

Why would I rely on my ex husband to help
He helps at other times well
He said he’s stressed and triggered too

But I’m literally the one doing the paperwork so I feel bad like he doesn’t care bc he blew me off

He fell asleep and that’s believable but the attitude following has no care so I guess not blowing off

Yeah I am too fast

I am too much
Too sick
If you can sit with me or offer support or encouragement about when

You all of sudden have no strength and it feels like you’ll have to redo every trauma work but you don’t but it feels that way

And can’t get along with anyone and keeping everyone away from me

it’s just a letter!?

I have rage tho
I’m scared and I’m tired and sweaty and I cried on the shower floor I don’t have energy to cry but I have a lot of cry :(

I know these feelings. Sorry you are in such a difficult place. I agree with everyone about the letter. Letters are stressful for me too when I am in a stressful phase …..

 

[Rose White]

all of sudden have no strength and it feels like you’ll have to redo every trauma work

Feeling simila—like WTF?! Why?!

And can’t get along with anyone and keeping everyone away from me

it’s just

Run-hide-freeze-collapse—growl-cry-sleep
Yeah. Idk why?! My old T said this full moon is a doozy and do all the self cares or hide in a cave if you can lol

 

[Friday]

If 2 days away is “awhile”, what are 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years? How immediate & unyielding is your present that 2 days seems to gulf an eternity? How deeply in pain that moments stretch eons?

 

[Dynamic]

didn’t eat much yesterday very nauseous and trying to take a shower before church

Thank you everyone!! I’ll be back later

 

[Muttly]

I am sorry you are struggling so hard. Small things, can have big triggers attached. And life is sometimes very hard. Sitting with you.