Relationship He Broke Up With Me To Go Back To His Ex

[nahla1204]

My bf who has PTSD broke up with me stating he is going to try and work things out with his ex. Mind you, he told me she was a psycho, she used to belittle him, never supported him with his PTSD and anxiety and never gave him any space. He could never go golfing or fishing when he was with her. I've been the exact opposite of all those things yet he chooses her over me. I guess quantity trumps quality. Anyway, I just don't understand why he would do this. I wonder if it is PTSD related or he's just stupid.

 

[ms spock]

I am so sorry to read you are going through a relationship break up nahla1204.

Do you have a mental health professional to work with over your grief and sadness @nahla1204? I think it is a good idea as a supporter to have support outside of the relationship.

Be kind to you as much as you can.

 

[nahla1204]

I do have a therapist though I haven't seen him in 7 months. I might give him a call.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Do you have PTSD as well? I always like to ask when a supporter posts in the sufferer section because the advice can and does vary.

 

[nahla1204]

No I do not. I guess I posted in the wrong place again. Sorry.

 

[Justmehere]

@nahla1204 - oh I'm so sorry this happened. He's missing out by dumping you.

There is a chance his behavior could be a little PTSD related. Hard to tell. Sometimes I find that the person who is less accepting and safe, is more mean to me, they may feel "better" to be around (they already agree with the negativity in my own head) even though they are worse for me. PTSD or not, he could also just be "stupid" too.

No matter what, break ups are hard. Hang in there, as you are a great find for someone.

 

[Wolvescry]

Sometimes when I feel like I am not good enough for my bf or my mental state is such a burden on him and I want him to be happy I think about leaving him because I want him to be happy, and other times when I feel so much guilt and pain and like everythings my fault, I do consider going back to my abusive ex because in a way I feel like I deserve that kind of life. I know how to manage these feeling much better now, but they are very painful and hard not to give into. I cannot say if this is what your ex is doing. It may just be how he feels about things. Either way it sounds like he is missing out and if the relationship continues with his ex and it goes bad again he will know the mistake he made.

 

[The Albatross]

It is difficult to be in a position where a partner goes back to an ex that is ill suited. But is his choice. He goes back for his own reason. I doubt it has to do with quantity over quality. There are deeper connections and sometimes dramas that are in play. You are not his drama and that is a good thing.

It hurts, surely, but for yourself... what evaluation do you have about your relationship and how can you do what's best for you in this situation?

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

@nahla1204 I moved your thread into the supporters section. Please be careful where you post your threads becasue as @Solara said the advice can change.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I vote for stupid, but hey that's just me. But seriously, it could be PTSD related in that sometimes we think we don't deserve better. Maybe she is less emotionally available because she treats him like crap and so he doesn't have to deal with anything beyond superficial. There could be a million reasons why he went back to her. I'm so sorry that he left you. You didn't deserve that!

 

[nahla1204]

Thank you everyone for your input.