He Doesn't Get It :-(

[Moonkindredlass]

I've seriously thought he was listening and understanding what I feel and what I'm going through. I understand that it's not easy living with someone who has PTSD but I've been nothing but honest with him from the beginning. Now he's getting irritated with my symptoms and says just don't think about it and get over it that's not now, this is now. I KNOW THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!, that does not change the triggers and how I feel and my shakes and panic attacks, if I could change it don't you f*'*ing think I would. :-(

 

[Moonkindredlass]

Thank you therapybankrupt, he says now he gets it but I know he doesn't. I don't even know if I want him to, I wouldn't want anyone to understand this pain and fear let alone the one I love the most. This sucks. Period. I don't want to have PTSD anymore I hate even being labeled that.

 

[discarded]

I am a supporter and I wish that my sufferer would open up and let me try to understand. After joining the forum I realise just how little I know about his condition. I realise that I will probably never really get what it must be like for a sufferer but that doesn't mean that I don't want to know about it or how I can make life easier for him. It really is hard from both sides.

 

[Bubba]

I don't think anyone can truly understand unless you have it. It's a horrible thing to deal with day in and day out. I thought I was good for a few months - happy, becoming a healthy more normal person. Then BAM a bit of stress and I'm back to wanting to isolate - to just be alone. The emotional flashbacks and nightmares and intruding thoughts are so overwhelming. They make you think you're going to go crazy at times. And others just can't get it. It doesn't matter what you do - watch a tv show, go out with friends - it's all right there lingering in the background - waiting to overwhelm you again.

 

[NIKI]

Moon, I know exactly what you are going through. I have been going through the same exact thing. I have been told by my husband and others to "just stop thinking about it". Ya, wish it was that easy. Thank you hubby you have CURED me!:meh: I didn't know it was that easy! SURE!:O_o::wtf:

 

[Draiocht]

Been there, hell I am there. It's so frustrating - just stop being depressed, don't be afraid, don't think about that, just be happy, as if I have some sort of internal switch I'm not using. But it might be out of his own frustration that he can't cure you just like that, because he cares about you.

 

[saffy]

Hi All

I think it is the hardest thing for someone who loves you to understand. This can be through denial themselves, not knowing what to do or plain ignorance of PTSD, which is not their fault really.

Getting people close to you to fully understand is like trying to get a man to understand the pain of childbirth. They can imagine, based on their thought processes, but they will never fully get it.

Sometimes I think we put so much emphasis in trying to make the person understand the support part gets lost in translation. Sometimes keeping it simple is better. By allowing him the ability to not be able to understand it gives you a guide in what to do. Let him know how he can support you when things are triggering, get him to recognise when it happens so he can just be there for you, without questioning why.

I found the most conflict for me was trying to explain myself over and over again. It made me feel misunderstood, unimportant or not listened to, this did not help the already negative feelings I had about myself.

Not sure if that helps at all but I hope it does.
Best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[JustBe]

I agree, when I gave myself permission to NOT explain myself it was a huge relief. Those who care can educate themselves about PTSD just as we have.

 

[Moonkindredlass]

I don't think anyone can truly understand unless you have it.

Exactly

 

[Moonkindredlass]

Hi All

I think it is the hardest thing for someone who loves you to understand. This can be through denial themselves, not knowing what to do or plain ignorance of PTSD, which is not their fault really.

It does and I've tried that but he forgets and just wants to fix me and me to be happy.

 

[saffy]

Hi Moonkindredlass

Of course he wants to see you happy. You have to decide how best he can do that. What do you really want him to do to help at times of need?

Best wishes
Saffy :)