I know and if I do see him I will ask him that. I've thought a lot about that. Not having much contact over the past few months has helped me focus on myself more and detach from him a bit. I just said in another post that ill never shut him out (unless I believe he's being malicious), I've cared about him for over 30 years.
When we rekindled our romance he said a lot of things about a future but left out the PTSD. That's what made it so hard on me, I couldn't understand. And even with reading about it, it's not the same as when it happens. That's when it hits you like a ton of bricks. I think if I see him again this time my head will be in a better place. I've never been one to.be ruled by emotion, but this PTSD contradicts what normal reactions to emotions are.
Anyway, what I plan to ask is what he'd like us to be and what is he thinks is realistic for us to be. Then I'll have to decide what I can handle. When we were young it was on and off again, I assumed due to distance and I was ok with that. We didn't talk about a future back then and I just did my own thing, dated other people etc. This time he talked a lot about a future. My guess at this point would be that he'd like to be in a real relationship with me but just can't.
I'm not going to ask him that just yet, I'll wait and see if he texts and talks to me more. I don't want to make him feel pressure if he's starting to come out of a depression. As for a fear of him saying goodbye, I don't mean like breaking it off goodbye, I meant a suicidal goodbye. I'm still not sure what his mental status is as far as that goes and I'm still very worried about it.