He Should Have Been With Me

[IamFree]

I had a dream last night that is was with my little brother when he was a child He was with me I was taking care of him...In reality he was not he lived with my mother I lived with my father who was not his father. I never got much time with him. I pushed him in a pram when he was a baby , but in my family nothing was ever ours to keep...my mother could not protect her self never mind a child. He had to pick food out the bin because she was to high to feed him. he was sexually abused before he was taken into care. We was stolen from each other.

were both grown up now we do not know each other any attempts to try have come to nothing we live in different worlds with different problems. I can only think of the little boy who should have been with me .

I feel like I dread feeling because the pain of what I lost and what cannot be changed feels unbearable right now.

 

[ladee]

I am So Sorry this is such a heavy weight on your heart.
Are you in contact at all? Even tho there are differences, you both have a lot in common.
I've often wondered if my siblings feel any guilt for leaving me behind. I know they had to save themselves.
But would love to be able to tell them it's ok. I understand now. And I made it out myself.
I don't want them to feel guilt. But do wish they would reach out To see if I am ok.
That will never happen.
So I truly hope the two of you can work out the time and distance and have a relationship now.
Gentle hugs if you accept.

 

[IamFree]

I had a dream last night that is was with my little brother when he was a child He was with me I was ta...

Not right now the way things are right now I am best of not getting involved . I need some time for my own healing right now when me and my family get together it just never seems to go right but I realise now the change has to start inside me first and who knows what the future may bring.

 

[ladee]

That is some awesome insight.!
Well wishes.
We are here for you.