Crazyhorse, my feet feel sometimes uncomfortably dense, as if a lot of sediment has fallen and settled in my feet. The rest of my body feels normal, but my feet and lower legs are heavy with weight. Then it might feel like they are sort of burning and buzzing. It was so disconcerting months ago. At the same time, I had a breakthrough in feeling a lot of intense grief, old sadness. I spent decades burying my feelings and being numb and then every day for weeks in December, January, Feb., I'd cry and cry for intense blocks of time every day - like an hour of sobbing and one day I noticed to my shock, all the foot pain disappeared after I cried every time. Like magic!!!
I couldn't believe it.
The jaw and ear pain always came when I was holding in anger or rage, not speaking, not expressing.
Feeling feelings is so new to me. A whole new world. It is very difficult for me to cry usually. I use tricks like music. I need to get it out. Tears are stress hormones after all. Like we need anymore of those rolling around our bodies!
Also if I need to cry and feel sadness, I will sometimes get out of breath while sitting. It's a phenomenon to me.
Before all this, I of course went to doctors because I was sure there was something wrong with me even though I'm in tip top work out shape. Nothing showed in their tests.
My husband "shouldered the pain" all his life. He was strong and macho, wouldn't "give in to it". He kept his shoulder to the wheel. Now he has arthritis in his shoulder. I know there is a connection between holding that emotional energy in and how our bodies feel. The feelings don't disappear, they transform.
