Steffy2389
New Here
"If it's not one thing, it's another."
A run-on saying in my family ever since I was little. My father was raised in a broken home while my mother was raised in a loving one. I have two older siblings and a baby brother who is Autistic. About 20 years ago when I was 5, my father became a veteran due to having a nervous breakdown while he was on duty; major depression with psychotic episodes (and sex addiction. Didn't find that out until a few months ago.)
To say in the least amount of painful words, it was a rough childhood with one caring parent and the other sometimes there for you, sometimes not, just because. It was more mental and emotional abuse for us. Sometimes it got physical with my father against my two older siblings, or my mother. He just would go into a blind rage.
By the time I turned 12, I had major depression. I attempted suicide multiple times by the time I turned 14 and had to be locked away and on medication. It seemed to work. Things were better, more manageable.
If it's not one thing, it's another.
My father decided that he had never been happy with my mother, or the family and decided to leave us (my 15 year old Autistic brother, my mother, and myself).
It was a big blow to me, use to being a "daddy's little girl" from a time ago. Especially when he would come back only to emotionally abuse all of us before leaving again.
Then my grandfather passed away, who ended up being more of a father to me than my own dad had been over the years. I was traumatized in his passing, being in the same room with him and seeing his death. I could not sleep for days.
Then finally when I couldn't handle life anymore, the car accident happened.
I never went to get help right away after the accident, even though my best friend pushed for me to do so. I thought I would get over it. That I would become stronger, but I just kept getting weaker and weaker to the point were I'm so debilitated.
I came here to find groups and people who have gone through this; are still going through this, and find support. I need to know that I'm not turning into a different person, that I can still fight this.
I've been diagnosed first with Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia, but that has now changed to PTSD.
A run-on saying in my family ever since I was little. My father was raised in a broken home while my mother was raised in a loving one. I have two older siblings and a baby brother who is Autistic. About 20 years ago when I was 5, my father became a veteran due to having a nervous breakdown while he was on duty; major depression with psychotic episodes (and sex addiction. Didn't find that out until a few months ago.)
To say in the least amount of painful words, it was a rough childhood with one caring parent and the other sometimes there for you, sometimes not, just because. It was more mental and emotional abuse for us. Sometimes it got physical with my father against my two older siblings, or my mother. He just would go into a blind rage.
By the time I turned 12, I had major depression. I attempted suicide multiple times by the time I turned 14 and had to be locked away and on medication. It seemed to work. Things were better, more manageable.
If it's not one thing, it's another.
My father decided that he had never been happy with my mother, or the family and decided to leave us (my 15 year old Autistic brother, my mother, and myself).
It was a big blow to me, use to being a "daddy's little girl" from a time ago. Especially when he would come back only to emotionally abuse all of us before leaving again.
Then my grandfather passed away, who ended up being more of a father to me than my own dad had been over the years. I was traumatized in his passing, being in the same room with him and seeing his death. I could not sleep for days.
Then finally when I couldn't handle life anymore, the car accident happened.
I never went to get help right away after the accident, even though my best friend pushed for me to do so. I thought I would get over it. That I would become stronger, but I just kept getting weaker and weaker to the point were I'm so debilitated.
I came here to find groups and people who have gone through this; are still going through this, and find support. I need to know that I'm not turning into a different person, that I can still fight this.
I've been diagnosed first with Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia, but that has now changed to PTSD.
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