Sufferer Hello People - A Little Bit Of My Story

[LuckyDuck]

Hey people,

This is my first post, and so a little intro might be in order.

Currently waiting on treatment for PTSD. I've never gone through with any, so I'm not sure how I will handle it.

I think my getting PTSD started when I was a teen, being raised in a Jehovah's Witness family, kicked out of the house while already having major depressive disorder. I went years taking meds that never helped, but more morphed me into someone I wasn't.

After detox from medications things got a lot better - I could think clearer, I started taking control of my life. I didn't know much about my self, who I was, where I was going. I still don't, but at least I'm in school.

I started losing control again and decided to talk to my partner about some embarrassing symptoms (screaming in my head, staying away from locations, some of the traumas of my life) and it was suggested for me to look into getting therapy.

It's been the past month things have become unbearable, but I'm still trucking, going to school trying to stay focused, though I lost most of it. Music doesn't do it anymore, I can't sit still much or pay attention to much these days. I'm gripped constantly by panic and I'm getting flashbacks daily, sometimes three or four times a day, sometimes twenty or more.

I want control. I want to function again. I want to understand.

I promised myself before I would stop I would crawl. It feels like I'm crawling nowadays, but at least that's better than stopping.

I hope y'all are getting what you need in this forum. I hope to get what I need too.

Take care,

LuckyDuck

 

[macbeth]

I promised myself before I would stop I would crawl. It feels like I'm crawling nowadays, but at least that's better than stopping.

Hi @LuckyDuck. Welcome to the forum! (awesome name by the way). Sometimes we have to crawl before we can walk and you're absolutely right, you haven't stopped, you are still going. Well done, you are here and reaching out for support. That takes a lot of courage, so again, well done you!!! Kind :hug:s if you want them.

 

[silkleaves]

Hello and welcome @LuckyDuck! If its any consolation, this forum has been a blessing for me in the short time that I have been here... both is facing myself, and stepping outside of myself, and being able to connect with people I can relate to.

It's great that you are getting set up in treatment for PTSD. A really good first step to getting some more understanding of yourself and being able to learn some ways to manage so that you dont feel so lost.

 

[TimeToHeal]

Hi @LuckyDuck, and welcome to the forum! :)
I hope you will find the support and understanding here that I have.

Again, welcome! :)

 

[Anrish]

Welcome @LuckyDuck! I'm also a new member, but during the short time here...I already found a lot of support. I hope you will, too. :hug:

 

[LuckyDuck]

Thanks for the warm welcome! I swear, I landed on this website right when I needed it the most.

LuckyDuck

 

[intothelight]

It feels like I'm crawling nowadays, but at least that's better than stopping.

Sometimes the best we can do is crawl, but it is still progress. I hope you find the forum helps you to keep moving forward in your healing.