Sufferer Hello!

[Copper Princess]

I am a 37 year old female. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and chronic depression in the last couple of months. I had several years of molestation as a child, sexually assaulted twice once was pretty violent and I have finally ended a very controlling abusive relationship. I am very ashamed of my past and the things that I have done. Which now I know stems from being molested. I am currently in therapy which is not going well because I absolutely hate talking about what has happened. I came here in hopes that I can find ways to help with my nightmares and flashbacks. I am not sure how to deal with seeing the men who done these things either.

 

[Muted]

I am a 37 year old female. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and chronic depression in the last c...

When you talk about blacking out, are you disassociating? I can talk about my past, but it's afterwards I struggle and I also disassociate.

 

[Copper Princess]

When you talk about blacking out, are you disassociating? I can talk about my past, but it's afterwards...

I do disassociate a lot when it comes to these events. I cannot cry while talking about these events because I whipped as a child for crying and hit with belts and other things for crying as an adult. It takes me a few days to get myself back to a functioning level after talking about an event.

 

[Joan]

Welcome to the forum. I hope that you find support here and realize that you are not alone in what you are experiencing.

 

[ladee]

@Copper Princess , unfortunately the days after therapy are like yours for most of us.
Not minimizing your experience but this is where we have to learn self care to help get us thru it.
One of the things I did was made sure I had planned ahead, to have some time to myself. I love to walk in the woods or the backroads.
Made sure I had fresh fruit in the house.
Many other things..music that I like etc.
It does help to help us feel in control. Many many suggestions here on self care.
Gentle hugs.

 

[Copper Princess]

Welcome to the forum. I hope that you find support here and realize that you are not alone in what you ar...

Thank you!

 

[Copper Princess]

@Copper Princess , unfortunately the days after therapy are like yours for most of us....

Thank you. I have taken up the hobby of coloring. It tends to calm my anxiety a bit but my sleeping habits are bad.

 

[ladee]

I still have sleeping habits that are not ideal. I hesitate to use the word 'bad' because this is my normal.
Having PTSD has led me to redefine many things I do different than others.
Hopefully you will find a way that works for you.
Getting or being too tired or sleeping too much is a balance you will find that works for you.
The idea of a set bedtime and getting up time makes me feel restricted.
Give yourself time...you will find what works for you.
I color too! Very relaxing.
Happy you found something that helps! Hugs

 

[Muted]

I do disassociate a lot when it comes to these events. I cannot cry while talking about these e...

Bless your heart, you didn't deserve that, crying can be such a release....

People have to be able to FEEL their feelings before they move past them. I wish for you freedom to be able to feel your feelings.