Help Help Help

[seedling]

With reaching out being that hard and painful, it's understandable that it could bring on the breaking apart feeling.
And, you are doing it - reaching out! Just outright f***ing doing it. Against all your internal blockages and defenses.
Wow!

Why couldn't she have had the heart to be apologetic that she didn't get back to you sooner?! That would have been a great response, instead of saying you were rude. Geez, some people!

I think you are wonderful!

 

[OneToughCookie]

This breaks my heart to read. I like that you shared how you feel "Welcome me!" and "Help me!", because it's sort of an indirect reaching out. I hear you, and would be happy to help you.

I have a really hard time with suicidal ideation myself, and sometimes find that helping others takes my mind off the continuous intrusive thoughts. While I will certainly need to put my needs first, I think my needs dovetail with yours right now. I totally understand how isolated you feel and would love to be there for you in times of distress and help you get to a better place and develop a support network. I'll read up everything I can on Avoidant PD and do what I can. @seedling is right. You seem very wonderful. I'll message you. :) <3

 

[OneToughCookie]

I didn't realize you don't accept PMs, but I wrote this (abridged) letter to you.

I already like and accept you for who you are, a wonderful trauma survivor, who, like me, has a hard time recognizing your good qualities. I respect you because you're working so hard to reach out for help and taking your problems into your own hands; it's very admirable. I'm also very impressed that you interact with so many people on a daily basis!!!

I think a great opportunity for you to develop a support network would be with others who have Avoidant Personality Disorder. Bigtent has one that's reportedly active.

I'm basically a really kind person who would love to be a part of your support network. I want to see you succeed and thrive despite your condition. I bet we can help each other by listing positive things about ourselves to one another (I feel inadequate a lot of the time too). I read the wikihow on how to overcome AvPD and it was pretty good! I would be happy to help you learn self care and listen to you if you don't feel you have anyone to talk to. I understand how difficult it is for you to interact with others, and would like to encourage you to and cheer you on as you take baby steps toward improving the quality of your life. You likely have a lot of fears about interacting with me. Maybe if you let me know what they are I can help reassure you. :)

 

[joeylittle]

@OneToughCookie - you are responding to a post from 2015; the OP is not likely to respond.

 

[OneToughCookie]

Wow, it's weird that comes up as the second post. Thanks.