Good advice from Albatross, I agree, more clarification is needed.
Noah, I also just had a thought - sometimes with PTSD we tend to think that everything is "about us" or our issues - ya never know, therapist could've been sick that day or had experienced a personal issue themselves?
It could be something in his world, rather than yours, that had him so noncommunicative - try not to assume until you know for sure. Maybe he just had a bad day and could surprise you and admit he didn't handle that well, ya never know.
My situation is a bit different, it was a first-time ever event with no discussion of what to do if this ever happened beforehand - new feelings of panic/nightmares I didn't anticipate, with no history of calling between sessions with the therapist prior to this one replaced.
But in your situation, he's been there for you before, so it's worth giving him another shot - even if it turns out the way you believe he meant it, perhaps ask questions to be clear on the boundaries next time - what constitutes an emergency, and for nonemergencies, what coping skills can you try first before you call? Maybe you can create a checklist you can make together about what coping skills/tools to try before calling when you feel like this?
These are the things I know now I wish I'd known then, but we live and learn :)
Self-harming should never be on that list as a coping skill, ma dear, but you know that ;)
I'm not a self-harmer, but what's helpful to avoid panic attacks for me sometimes is to just walk into them, allow them rather than to try to fight them off or shame myself for having them, which makes them worse.
Because as intense as feelings are, it helps me to realize they are just feelings, very normal for what I experienced, and they WILL pass and I don't have to DO anything at all - let the wave pass over you and wash back out, if you can - feel and do nothing.
Most of the time that works, but some things are harder than others, I know
