Sufferer Hi, I'm So Lost.

[Doolali]

I blame myself, I knew a few years ago I was starting to get these dreams and triggers that would set me off. I should have taken care of it then until waiting till it was too late. I just hope the good Lord forgives me. I don't want to be this way.

Don't beat yourself up Dennis, you are here now. You are understanding what is wrong and hopefully finding a way to make you better. Part of PTSD is ruminating (overthinking or thinking too deeply) about things. Ruminating the what ifs won't help, just try to think forwardly. It's hard, I totally get that.

You mentioned before something about wanting to cry. I heard this amazing quote today and remembered your post:

"Crying doesn't indicate that you are weak, since birth it's always been a sign that you're alive"

 

[Dennis # 121]

Don't rush her....it will only push her further away. Work on yourself, and let the rest fall into place.

I actually texted her last night and asked if she was ok. She responded that she was. I told her more about my therapy and she said she was happy. Told her she cold come home whenever she was ready. I want my marriage to work, but I want myself to be in the best position mentally first. Start meds on Monday. Learned some coping skills from my therapist which I think will really really help.

 

[Dennis # 121]

Well I printed out what I have written in this forum to share with her. She said she would be willing to read it. I thinks she is still a huge supporter of mine, but one that is injured. I'm going to take my time trying to mend what I have done to her. I hope some of the awesome comments and suggestions will show her that she is not alone with a spouse who has PTSD. Thanks everyone.

 

[myvetswife]

I thinks she is still a huge supporter of mine, but one that is injured

I went through a lot with my husband till I had enough and splitt up with him. He actually got put in an inpatient clinic, after trying to commit suicide. It was only when I saw progress, which he was doing for himself (!!) I was willing to get closer again. Yes, I was an injured supporter.

We got back togheter again, after we talked everything through, how we would cope with episodes. And this year we will be married 20 years!

If you are ex military, there is a sister-site only for military veterans http:// which might help you

 

[Dennis # 121]

We got back together again, after we talked everything through, how we would cope with episodes. And this year we will be married 20 years!



Thank you for your post, it gives me hope. I am ex military but not in a combative roll. Came close in Iran in 1980, but the mission was called off. I will look at the site. Again, I'm very happy for you, your a courageous women.

 

[Dennis # 121]

Good news today, I have a new therapist. He can do the EMDR that I need and want to get better. No insurance worries!

 

[safenow]

That's great, Dennis. I hope it does all you're hoping it will do.

 

[a3a2]

I think introducing her to the forum is a great idea. I will help her to find another form of support for herself as well as showing her how hard you are working. I am really happy for all the progress you have made, Dennis. I really believe you are going to find yourself living again.

 

[KP the nut]

(((Dennis))), I wish you well. EMDR worked well for me, thanks to a really good therapist. It was not easy, in fact, including having 2 children it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. However, for me it really paid off.

 

[Bernie's_mom]

Good news today, I have a new therapist. He can do the EMDR

Well, praise God! And I hope you don't mind my praying for your situation.

 

[Dennis # 121]

My wife came home today. Wants to help me through the treatment, and then wants out. Said she loves me but cannot put up with the way I have treated her in the past. Hopefully she will have a change of heart as I progress. Not sure what to do or expect. She moved into the guest bedroom..

 

[Dennis # 121]

Well, praise God! And I hope you don't mind my praying for your situation.

I think introducing her to the forum is a great idea. I will help her to find another form of support for herself as well as showing her how hard you are working. I am really happy for all the progress you have made, Dennis. I really belieive you are going to find yourself living again.

I printed out the posts and let her read them , made no comment