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Sufferer Hi, Need Some Help - My Baby Died

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Wow - well it was an okay day today and I got work done, with better focus than a long time.

So this evening my best friend Cathy that lives with me (we bought the house together) had to leave to help her parents. I heard her car pull up and she didn't get out. Our dogs started barking (2 chihuahuas, my Jack Russell Terrier). I thought I heard the doorbell ringing and ringing. Could not go to door, heart pounding, sweat, I yelled for my daughter to keep her phone close.

Cathy was just on the cell phone in her car. That's all.

Strange dreams last night but not so bad as before - able to act correct and decent at work all day.

I never dealt with ANY of it. So I guess. One step at at time.
 
I could say I know how you feel but I can't. Me myself, I was pregnant and misscarried twice. Never have I had the pleasure to enjoy a baby being present in my home. Possibly I will never. In my case, I was molested and tortured at the age of four. You think I was young enough to not be affected by that but Im having slow waves of memories and its very scary. Everything in my life was good, till I got pregnant the first time after that I was having nightmares and when I did my baby did. I was completely stressed out and couldn't unwind, I think the stress ended up killing my baby. Which is controllable. For you, Just remember hun... Its not your fault. Your story really makes me think alot. Just try to remember how lucky you are to have had a baby in your life to love and to care for. and remember things happen in life that we can't control. God Bless and Take care!

Immora
 
Oh, Immora - I am so sorry to hear about your losses. Take care - it has been better for me overall the entire week, just one "issue" yesterday with a lot of stress and shaking.

I've had, I'm sorry to say, four miscarriages. But they were all extremely early, not later losses.
 
I never dealt with Anthony's death (the baby) the first time around. I just kept going. So it was like it happened NOW and it's been happening ever since.

AS,

Four years ago my father died unexpectedly and I did the same thing you did. I didn't deal with it, I just kept pushing forward until the day everything pushed back and I fell apart and I finally had to deal with it. And the length of time doesn't mean a damn thing. It does feel like it just happened.

This forum is a good place to start your healing. It's tough and it's painful, but it can be done. Writing down how you're feeling, asking questions, learning that you're not alone with how you're feeling (this was a big one for me) and learning you can get your life back...all important things you can do to help yourself.

Lisa
 
ASterling,

I lost my beautiful little girl after years of resuscitating her from deadly seizures. I was literally in a 911 situation up to 14 times a day for five years. I know your pain and you are not alone. I am still trying to deal with it all. I think it will be a life long process for me. I am so sorry for your loss. Please take care,

Katelyn
 
Katelyn,

I see you left this on an old thread, so hope you're doing ok yourself especially with the holiday season. If it gets a little much, the forum really is a lovely place to come to for too many reasons to list with any accuracy.

I do not have the same trauma so couldn't say anything at all helpful with it, just saw the thread and thought whoever was here might need a 'Hi'. :)

Do take care,

Anni
 
I am so sorry for your loss, it is truly terrible. Noone should ever have to suffer the death of a child, especially one so young.

I read awhile back that they were warning parents about the dangers of the bumpers in cots as babies can get tangled in them. The same with those blinds with strings, I have heard of tragedies of young children getting tangled in them as well.

This was a tragic accident that happened. I am so sorry for your loss.
 
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