Holiday (all of 'em!) Stress

[illuminating_anchor]

why don't you js ditch the night all together

 

[Deleted member 93]

Most of us do, thanks though...

 

[Grama-Herc]

Well, here I go again, stirring the pot and causing problems. When the holidays come along, people start turning into monsters. Gripping about their family, long trips, buying gifts and causing chaos in general!

I have a daughter I have not heard from in almost 15 years. I don't even know if she is dead or alive. She has chosen to cut me out of her life because of the way I raised her while in the middle of my "Problem" before I got help. She has every right to feel this way BUT those of you who have family and relatives should be on your knees thanking your higher power that youm have them

Were it not for the REBUILT relationship I have with my m om I'm not sure I would even make it through the holidays by myself-alone!

Now that I got that off my chest.!>!>! Mother and I have the perfect plans for the holidays. We plan to pig out on good food tomorrow, begin to decorate our new townhome, put beautifully wrapped EMPTY packages under the tree and sit back and enjoy the holiday sights and sounds with NO STRESS OR PRESSURE. Niether one of us needs or wants anything and besides since moving in together WE Got No Room for anything.

We both are actually looking forward to quiet and relaxed time. I wish all of you Happy Holidays from HERC and her Mom and her 3 Cats

 

[kers]

I'm glad you've got a good relationship with your mom to help you through the holidays, herc.

You're not stirring the pot, but please be aware that the folks here have many different family situations. It can hurt to be told to be grateful for having family members if those family members were the ones who caused the PTSD.

 

[Grama-Herc]

Kers

How right you are and how insensitive of me to forget that fact. I may actually fit into that mold but just can not remember .

Hope my post has not caused you any discomfort or stress. Especially during the time of year that is hard on all of us. Chin up my friend We all step on someones toes in here once ina while.. Sorry HERC

 

[kers]

No problem at all, Herc--it's nice to be able to deal with it so politely and kindly! Have a nice holiday.

 

[Nam]

So...did everyone make it through?

 

[Grama-Herc]

Well, Hercules did survive and quite nicely I might add

I did all the cooking--which is a joke cuz I can not cook! Put up the tree and started decorating it. Mom had a day of rest and relaxation and simply enjoying watching me look for an hour for the stupid hooks that hold the decorations on the tree. A stupid package of 99 cent tree hooks almost drove me nuts. My OCD kicked in and I would not give up untill I found them.

I set a beautiful table for mom. Even had real napkins and candles. We enjoyed our meal together and "THEN" she fell! ! ! ! DAM IT This is not a new problem She has been falling her entire life but it still unnerves me. Table, lamp, decorations, a glass of water all went flying but SHE WAS NOT HURT and is fine this morning.

So how was everyone else's holiday????????????????

I on the other

 

[Deleted member 541]

I survived, and actually enjoyed it. Spent it with a couple of friends. We talked, laughed, ate, and had fun.....

Now Christmas will be another story.......Still think that there ought to be open season on the fat man in the red suit....

 

[nor]

Well, I made it-even with the son of my abuser, sitting at the head of our dinner table. My family (husband, son and I) sat at a separate table in the family room, just off from the diningroom. My explanation was that it gave everyone more room to move around at the big table. I guess it was my way of not being so close to my abuser's entire family. Even though he is dead now, his memory is definitely prominent during the holidays. My sister always freaks out around now, and I fight a lot of OCD habits as well.

Anyway, I made it through. Washed dishes in the kitchen the entire time. Thank god there were a lot of them!

We cut down our Christmas tree yesterday, and I just wanted to do nothing today-had a hard time getting up out of bed. But my husband and son got me to put the lights on the tree, and we are going to put the ornaments on later.

My mother was going to help me out a little, financially, with the cost of Thanksgiving-but it looks like she has forgotten-great.....

Next up, I have 25+ people over for Christmas Eve. Not sure how I am going to handle THAT! But, I don't want to think about that just yet-just want to be relieved that I made it through Thanksgiving.

nor

 

[Marlene]

I survived...but I'm so glad to be home. Thanksgiving this year was a lot smaller than usual (people wise)...thank goodness. Even with less people it was tough for me to be in the room with all of them. But I still found a way to do it...in a chair out of the main flow of people.

Usually on Thanksgiving my husband's family will all do a name draw for Christmas gifts. Since there are so many people, it gets expensive. This was everyone just has one gift to buy another. When I brought it up to my MIL, she said they weren't doing it this year. OK...that was odd. I found out from talking to my husband and youngest on the way home that my MIL is tired of just a few of us doing all of the planning and such each year and everyone is one their own, basically, this year. Not quite sure how that's going to be managed, but I'll have to figure it out.

I was proud of myself. I had told my SIL's and my MIL via email that I wasn't up to hosting a holiday meal this year. I told my husband I didn't know if I was ever going to be up to having almost two dozen people in my house again. I told my in-laws on Thursday this bit of information. They didn't say anything, but I got it out without stammering. So that's something.

Lisa

 

[Nicolette]

Good for you Lisa that you set boundaries for your own well being.

Proud of you :occasion: