Hope I'll be the last diary I'll ever write

[Givrali]

So one of my ergo friend barely sleep or eat since 3 weeks. Since she's not a full friend but a specific place friend I managed to not take it on my shoulders and friendly joke about it with her. Also we made a joking contest how young we were at our first trauma. I was 4 and her 3 so she won

 

[Givrali]

Ok I forgot yesterday. I dis some food shopping and noticed there is no new book in my house I want to read. Also exhausted like always.

Last night I managed to have 2 nightmares in one night.

Today I'm going to rest and decorate my room and catch up my social app including myptsd

 

[Givrali]

So I'm way more exhausted now so the resting thing dramatically failed

I only could put two posters in my room until now

I took so much late in this forum I'm not sure if it has any meaning to read just fr reading ?

For other social media not sure what I have left to cach up except YouTube I have no motivation to watch today

 

[Givrali]

Forgot to say but from yesterday I decided to always sleep before midnight except for occasional f*ck this life I do wathever I want to

 

[Givrali]

I also vacuum cleaning my bedroom... rest day you know

 

[Givrali]

I read a lot of posts in the forum, not sure why I feel like I have to ?

anyways it's getting late and there are many things I want to do before going to sleep and I really want to go bed at a reasonable time for my new routine

I just realized it's Sunday so tomorrow week begins all over again

 

[Givrali]

I just read again my "page 3 to 4 family and me importants points"

this night I'm in a fragil metnal state, not dangerous but bad enough. So I could read it in full

(since I'm in my computer I don't have the autocorrect this time)

I read the guidline so many times but can't remember them short after reading them, that's why I did so many mistakes with pictures. Also I won't be too specific because I can't talk about me and verify the guideline in a so short amount in time. Reading them right now would make me unable to finish to write. I'll message the mod abotu it tomorrow.

anyways my bedtime is in less than 2 hours and I need to distract me to get a good sleep.

I think reading following ptsd sufferers may help me with accepting I got trauma and I deserve to get better

to come back to the first line of this post, it was strange to read it again, like a half forgot memory. Like was it me who wrote this ? I know this is. Still feel strange like watching a movie alike my life rather than "yes it happened that way"

I can rermember me writing it down like it was some kind of weird game, dissociated from the gravity of what happened in my life.

Also I felt after reading it a "well, other got worse" then immediately after the knowlege underestimation of own issue is a common thing

 

[Givrali]

Monday was nice at the end because I cut a discord contact off because we could't understancd each other, gain to leave art therapy next week, had a nice talk with a discord friend and managed to write

 

[Givrali]

This morning is calm that's nice because after art therapy I felt so overwhelmed I couldn't stand a thing

 

[Givrali]

still have to ask for precisions for this forum, worked a lot in my story (a original one this time), and I got the last furnitures I payed for. I only haev like two books and a microwave to wait

 

[Givrali]

the day was ok or great but felt too long. also my brain still can't accept I live here now, a friend suggested to put more decorations to feel like mine

 

[Givrali]

I wasn't enough things ti fix my poster and pictures so I buy more of this paste and also bought lot of food in passing because I was very hungry