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Hope I'll be the last diary I'll ever write

So one of my ergo friend barely sleep or eat since 3 weeks. Since she's not a full friend but a specific place friend I managed to not take it on my shoulders and friendly joke about it with her. Also we made a joking contest how young we were at our first trauma. I was 4 and her 3 so she won
Ok I forgot yesterday. I dis some food shopping and noticed there is no new book in my house I want to read. Also exhausted like always.

Last night I managed to have 2 nightmares in one night.

Today I'm going to rest and decorate my room and catch up my social app including myptsd
So I'm way more exhausted now so the resting thing dramatically failed

I only could put two posters in my room until now

I took so much late in this forum I'm not sure if it has any meaning to read just fr reading ?

For other social media not sure what I have left to cach up except YouTube I have no motivation to watch today
Forgot to say but from yesterday I decided to always sleep before midnight except for occasional f*ck this life I do wathever I want to
I read a lot of posts in the forum, not sure why I feel like I have to ?

anyways it's getting late and there are many things I want to do before going to sleep and I really want to go bed at a reasonable time for my new routine

I just realized it's Sunday so tomorrow week begins all over again
I just read again my "page 3 to 4 family and me importants points"

this night I'm in a fragil metnal state, not dangerous but bad enough. So I could read it in full

(since I'm in my computer I don't have the autocorrect this time)

I read the guidline so many times but can't remember them short after reading them, that's why I did so many mistakes with pictures. Also I won't be too specific because I can't talk about me and verify the guideline in a so short amount in time. Reading them right now would make me unable to finish to write. I'll message the mod abotu it tomorrow.

anyways my bedtime is in less than 2 hours and I need to distract me to get a good sleep.

I think reading following ptsd sufferers may help me with accepting I got trauma and I deserve to get better

to come back to the first line of this post, it was strange to read it again, like a half forgot memory. Like was it me who wrote this ? I know this is. Still feel strange like watching a movie alike my life rather than "yes it happened that way"

I can rermember me writing it down like it was some kind of weird game, dissociated from the gravity of what happened in my life.

Also I felt after reading it a "well, other got worse" then immediately after the knowlege underestimation of own issue is a common thing
Monday was nice at the end because I cut a discord contact off because we could't understancd each other, gain to leave art therapy next week, had a nice talk with a discord friend and managed to write
still have to ask for precisions for this forum, worked a lot in my story (a original one this time), and I got the last furnitures I payed for. I only haev like two books and a microwave to wait
I wasn't enough things ti fix my poster and pictures so I buy more of this paste and also bought lot of food in passing because I was very hungry