Hope I'll be the last diary I'll ever write

[Givrali]

My Brain is barely living so sorry for missing words in previous messages I'll edit it later

 

[Givrali]

I would have a lot to say later about my occupationnal therapy because I'm feeling like my responsable is completely wrong about my actual state

 

[Givrali]

could the days may be less emotionnal or full ?

 

[Givrali]

This week-end cores and putting posters on walls

 

[Givrali]

With the help of my ergo I realized I don't allow me any positive acknowledgement because I hold myself responsible for the death of my mother

 

[Givrali]

Don't worry if I don't post here for a day or two I'll be busy and realizing that is big

 

[Givrali]

Hope that realization will make things fast because I started therapy at 7 and I'm 29 so it would be cool to actually make rapid progress now

 

[Givrali]

ok I basically trigger myself for 24 hours in two days, so nothing triggering until Wednesday. ( also I can read about everthing in english but I still fail remembering how to spell days of the week....)

 

[Givrali]

Lot of adult stuff to do

 

[Givrali]

I got and build up my creative desk. I unvolontarly triggered myself with falcon and the winter solider.
I'm happy to have most of my furniture now. I still have nightmare every night and best friend is basically financially abused by our administration.
There are so many manga I want to buy but I have to read some before buying more.

Just a list of fact because I'm still upset over the fact I may blame myself for a death that happened when I was 9 years old

 

[Givrali]

my mind is still in the past when my father was still alive. I can't be living alone, I'm living with my father. It's impossbile, impossible

 

[Givrali]

There is no way I can living alone,I must return to my father's place. But he's dead since a long time now and the appartment sold. It's all wrong, my mind can't deal wih it