Hope I'll be the last diary I'll ever write

[Givrali]

3 years ago my father died from cancer. Today I learned someone I don't really knew died from cancer.

Can't think about anything but my father's death

 

[Givrali]

It's getting hard to look at my window without thinking about killing myself. I'm going to watch something positive and peaceful on internet

 

[Givrali]

Better close my house blinds to hide the view

 

[prynne]

Hope you're okay @Givrali 💛

 

[Givrali]

ok i put down the blinds of each my windows so I can be safe at home

a friend's going to visit me at home this afternoon

I keep calling people to help my mood

I'm doing hard work to ensure my house is safe for me, I won't let my guiltiness win

 

[Givrali]

my brain keep telling me lies, it says it's my fault, I'm the reason all these peolpe died. Logic is clear : I have no guilt in these deaths. I'm just very sensitive about people dying, nothing to do with something I've done or said. I'm inocent completely inocent

 

[Givrali]

Feeling better after I laughed with a friend

 

[Givrali]

day was hard but I'm in the right path

 

[Givrali]

Seems like anxiety make me think I'm a lot more exhausted that I'm actually am

 

[Givrali]

of course I keep exhausting myself way beyond what's healthy, I'll have to learn to slow down if I want to keep living alone

 

[Givrali]

Feeling better this morning

 

[Givrali]

Nothing matters anymore