Hoping For A New Beginning

[LostGirl]

Hello. I have never read nor participated in any kind of forum. However, I am desperate to connect with others like me. I will be 41 years old this month, and though I have struggled with depression off and on for over 20 years, it was only 8 months ago that I realized that it is not just depression I'm dealing with, but PTSD. Almost 9 years ago I entered another depressive episode, and have been in therapy several times a week since, now on my third therapist in that time. She is the right one, though, because she understands PTSD and the trauma, abuse, and neglect that I have only recently realized began from the beginning, when I was born. I have friends in AA, but they don't really understand the terror and desperation I feel, and the frequent suicidality I feel. My husband actually helped me find this site. We've been married almost 20 years, and it's only been in the last year that we've been able to understand why I have so much trouble with intimacy, or even being touched at all. Anyway, I am glad to be here, and I thank the people who put their time into keeping this forum alive.

 

[Nicolette]

Welcome to the forum LostGirl.

 

[trial'n'error]

Hi,
I'm a similar age to you (will be 41 in December) and also just this year realized I was abused and neglected for my entire childhood, from infancy on. It's a hell of a thing to realize in this stage of life but for me, it's been a solace to finally know "what's wrong with me" (for want of a better phrase). Identifying what's real is helping me heal, I know, even if it's slow and not apparent at times. I've found much support and many kindred spirits here, hope you will too. Welcome to the forum. Peace,
trial'n'error

 

[void]

:hello:Welcome!!!

Progress can be beautiful, can't it? Good for you!:clap:

Void

 

[Leda]

Welcome!

I felt that there was so much hope in the title of your post. I does focus on hope. And - it´s never to late. I´m 48 and still working hard in therapy. I´m getting better, but slowly.

 

[LostGirl]

Thank you for the welcoming. I was hospitalized just 6 weeks ago for suicidal thoughts, and I realized that I needed to hear from more people who understand and can encourage me. I don't get much encouragement it seems. I have a teenage daughter who does just the opposite, and I think my husband is not sure what to do. I have a hard time sharing with him anyway, even after almost 20 years. It's those trust and intimacy issues.

 

[blue_eyed_angel]

:hello: Welcome to the forum!!!

 

[Booknerd]

Welcome Lost Girl,
You aren't alone. I suffer from the same fear and try to stay optomistic!
Trust is a huge issue with me and I understand where you are coming from. I'm glad you found the site.

 

[UmightKnowMe]

Welcome! Reading your intro I see a lot of parallels to my own life and story. You have found a great place to help you with your journey. Let us get to know you and help you along your way.