toolrocks242352
Not Active
I need advice on how to deal with a hold and cold therapist who is making my trust issues worse. Everything was ok until I started looking for a job, and then our focus shifted from my recovery to obsession over me getting a job and her getting me to a point ''that I won't need her anymore''. When I got a job offer, she started ignoring all of my emails for several days and sometimes not responding at all. This triggered me to the point I was afraid to take the job, because I was afraid she was going to abandon me as soon as it started. When I addressed these concerns with her, she threatened to call mobile crisis on me and said that some therapists leave when things get tough but that isn't her and that she isn't going anywhere.
Fast forward to 2 sessions later, today, the job ended up not working out and the lady in HR refused to accept my new hire paperwork because of the mistakes and my handwriting after I already went in there and was told to fill out the paperwork a 2nd time. When my therapist asked me how I was doing, I said I wasn't worried that this had happened to me and she proceeded to tell me that she feels like when she looks through our notes that I am not making any progress and she doesn't know what to do with me anymore or where to go from here. She suggested I see someone else, and said that their agency gets audited from time to time and that they would want to know why she was continuing to see a person if they weren't making any improvements. I told her that promising her I would continue to stay alive each week has been the most progress I have been able to make in a while and I was sorry that wasn't enough for her and proceeded to start crying. She then went on to say that she wasn't going anywhere and she was sorry. It didn't feel like she was actually sorry. I have told her things I have never told another person in my entire life and can not bear ever telling anyone else again. We have been seeing each other twice a week for 7 months, and I have already seen 4 other therapists before her. I can not see someone else again, and before she started going hot and cold on me we seemed to be making plenty of progress, at least I thought. I feel so hurt and triggered that she thinks of me as some random person and not a human being. What should I say if anything to her on Monday or should I just block her email and phone number and give up? I feel so heartbroken and rejected, and it has triggered me into a very emotional state where I feel like any second she is going to ditch me again.
Fast forward to 2 sessions later, today, the job ended up not working out and the lady in HR refused to accept my new hire paperwork because of the mistakes and my handwriting after I already went in there and was told to fill out the paperwork a 2nd time. When my therapist asked me how I was doing, I said I wasn't worried that this had happened to me and she proceeded to tell me that she feels like when she looks through our notes that I am not making any progress and she doesn't know what to do with me anymore or where to go from here. She suggested I see someone else, and said that their agency gets audited from time to time and that they would want to know why she was continuing to see a person if they weren't making any improvements. I told her that promising her I would continue to stay alive each week has been the most progress I have been able to make in a while and I was sorry that wasn't enough for her and proceeded to start crying. She then went on to say that she wasn't going anywhere and she was sorry. It didn't feel like she was actually sorry. I have told her things I have never told another person in my entire life and can not bear ever telling anyone else again. We have been seeing each other twice a week for 7 months, and I have already seen 4 other therapists before her. I can not see someone else again, and before she started going hot and cold on me we seemed to be making plenty of progress, at least I thought. I feel so hurt and triggered that she thinks of me as some random person and not a human being. What should I say if anything to her on Monday or should I just block her email and phone number and give up? I feel so heartbroken and rejected, and it has triggered me into a very emotional state where I feel like any second she is going to ditch me again.