How Am I Suppose To Discuss These Issues If This Is The Response I Get?

[Srain]

I went to my psyche doc yesterday, with my husband, to discuss an update on how I am doing sleep-wise. It's been 4 months (the longest time between appointments we had since I've been seeing her in about 2 years) and I somehow had run low on sleep meds and wanted to let her know that without them I went right back to having Night Terrors as well as that I had added the Seroquel.

What followed was a firestorm of accusations that had me so upset I'm left feeling like I wished I had never opened my mouth at all. She immediately let me know she wasn't about to up on my meds even though I never asked for that during our conversation and had steadily been lowering ALL medications at my suggestion since being with her, not to mention since seeing her I have never come to her to discuss this being an issue before.

She also went on and on how I should have had another month's supply which I knew I didn't because she never does that when I am I due to see her, she will write them upcoming months, so she called my pharmacy to check with them and told not ever fill my medications except on the day they are due to be filled, not one day earlier.

She then told me she wanted to see me every month with my husband only, I told her that wasn't possible because he worked 12 hour days. She peppered me questions and talked about the laws here but what got to me was how many times she told me, "what do you want me to about it?"

Really?!??

I kept trying to explain WHY I had told her about the sleep med issue in the first place but she wasn't hearing me. I tried telling her that I DID get the liability issue but I was met with questions about voices and blah blah blah so I snapped back with what I truly deal with ALL THE TIME which is deep depression and suicidal ideation that I've had since I was 7 years old...it will never go away even on a good day, that's life but I don't expect medication to take care of it and I wasn't asking for any. I pulled up only when we locked heads over her 35yrs in the profession and I stated my 40 plus years living with it.

I left feeling humiliated and angry with myself for having said anything at all. I know it's difficult to find a psyche doc that does more than treat the "physical" aspect of mental illness but WOW!! Most of all I feel completely let down again.

 

[Shellbell]

I am really sorry you had to deal with all that. I agree, how are you supposed to feel comfortable talking about anything with someone like that. Unbelieveable.

It's bad enough dealing with all these PTSD symptoms, but to get that kind of response from someone who is meant to be supporting and helping you is really bad. I really feel for you.

Saying 'what do you want me to do about it' is so so wrong. She is meant to help you and listen to you.

Do you have a therapist, or is she your only professional help?

 

[Whitneys story]

((((((((((Srain)))))))))) How unprofessional, maybe she needs a vacation. All of her responses sounded like she was defending herself and not hearing a word you said.

I am sorry she put you through this. I would request a printout to review your prescriptions. She sounded very accusing and invalidating.

 

[Nicolette]

That really just sucks Rain. She was way out of line and obviously on a power trip. :hug:

 

[Hashi]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I think it's telling that she wheeled out her 35 years in the profession. Partly because it sounds like her toes felt stepped on - which is nonsense and not the point anyway. Partly because her ideas are possibly more old-school than forward looking and that might include an authoritative approach when you rightly want to participate in your own treatment.

Long ago, I had a psychiatrist who when I said things would say, "Why dont we let me be the psychiatrist here?" At the time it used to shut me up, but now I would think yes, why don't we - so perhaps we could start that off by you listening to me.

It's really hard on every level to deal with something like this. I'm sorry you weren't given the support, care and respect that you should have.

 

[Icon Nikon]

Sweet Rain who was hit by a Tsunami,

I wrote a reply but then my iTouch crashed. So please know how sorry I am that this happened to you even if I can not replicate what I wrote and lost.

Even though ALL the details are not here as I imagine at one point your mind had to go in protect mode and shut her out, she violated just about every ethical value and principle that engenders her license. I do however hope that you are able to see this as her issue that happened to be projected on to you.

From what you wrote, your requests were well within reason and her reactions were anything but. I know that you must deal with the consequences but you in no way caused them. And you also in no way needed to justify anything to her. I am so sorry that you tried to reason with her her as she could not be reasoned with.

I do not know whether you saw her only for med evals or for therapy as well. Or how much of you you have invested in that "alliance", but it is truly unhealthy and unfortunately not someone you should go back to, in my humble opinion (but also my professional opinion).

If I were to hazard a guess, she likely is under review by her licensing boards or has lost a client to an overdose (or at the very least is too burnt out to be practicing). And what points to that the most is how she refers to filling your scripts and appearing to want your husband there as a witness of some sort.

And yes, I do not know the whole story, just that she showed you absolutely no respect....and that is just not someone you can trust for meds or therapy. Sorry if that sounds harsh as good trauma psychiatrists and therapists are not easy to find these days. I would suggest kindly requesting a copy of your records, including T Notes, for some innocuous reason just so can review them (or even what is not there) to see if there was a prior unspoken attitude towards you or whether something more recent happened.

In either case you are unfortunately left to pick up the pieces, but in so doing please do not let your own mind turn against you. Keep that anger directed outward where it belongs - do not turn it inwards or she wins in more ways than one. I would also recommend you looking to see if any complaints have been filed against her or if she is indeed under review.

I know you said you went there with your husband, and I was curious as to what he saw/heard being that she did not target him but oddly seemed to want to form an unhealthy alliance with him. Your therapy/med care is yours and no therapist should demand that you have someone else present - that is your choice.

Sorry, I feel how hurt you are and I want to advocate on your behalf. But that is just bringing out my anger which you may not need. It is just that you should have never needed to butt heads or be accused the way you were. Although, I must say that many therapists employ this tactic when they no longer wish to work with a client (because it makes you leave and never come back, thus bypassing the termination phase and therapist's ethical obligations during that phase).

Although my past experiences do not match yours, I have had a few pull the same stunt, knowing that they can get away with it based on society's view of people with PTSD. Also we have given them our "key" to the inner us, so most therapists know exactly how to use that key against us. Sad but true!

I will stop as I do not wish to make things worse for you, but know that I am here if you wish to PC me and get it all out. She was dead wrong, not you! Please do not buy into her cruel and heartless words or her unethical behavior.

Wish I could offer you more than my words and a comforting :hug:!

Alex

 

[Srain]

All of your responses mean a lot to me!

Alex, you have many points and I have already looked into finding a new pdoc. Getting my records is more than a good idea, thank you, I will do that as soon as I have found one that I am reasonably comfortable with.

I appreciate the validation regarding her reaction, it was stunning to me. It was not something I expected, I had mentioned to her several times in the past that I have had trouble sleeping and have terrible migraines that wake me up in the middle of the and that sometimes I will have to double take my sleep meds but haven't run out of them. I have been candid in this but yesterday she acted like this was news to her and chastised me for it, telling me to get a new neuro doc but let it drop when I reminded her that I had and that the new injections had finally been successful allowing me to get off more medication (seriously I wanted to come across the desk and shake her!).

I do have a therapist, in fact I have 2 but recently have suspended therapy for a bit - which I talked to her about our last session and she was in full agreement of because I was doing so well! All this only served to baffle and frustrate me more.

 

[ms spock]

I am sorry to read you had such an awful experience. There are some crappy psychriatrists and psychologists out there.

 

[Tanishq]

What followed was a firestorm of accusations that had me so upset I'm left feeling like I wished I had never opened my mouth at all.

I am sorry you had to go through this. I understand what you are feeling there. Psychiatrists are supposed to listen their clients and when they don't do it, it will upset the client.

Srain :hug:

 

[Toria]

Oh Rain - I agree entirely with Ikon Nikon - I do not believe that her outbursts had anything at all to do with you and that there is obviously something going on with her behind the scenes. Everyone is entitled to an off-day. What she had no right to do was bring that off-day in to your time with her.

I do hope that you can move past this x

 

[Srain]

It turns out that I had not run out of my sleep meds early but that my psyche appt was several days later than my meds allowed for. I hadn't double check my refill dates to see if this could be the reason until my husband went to drop off my scripts only to find out that they refused to fill them saying that my fill dates were later this month. I checked the empty bottles and not only found that to be wrong but that 30 days was up last week!

Needless to say I went through several wrecked emotions. Fortunately for me my husband volunteered to address the pharmacy for me. I am still dealing with their fallout and sitting on a whole heap of furious feelings but will hold on dishing it out until I'm sure I know I won't regret my actions.

I will get through this ..I will get through this.. I will get through this...

 

[Deleted member 12723]

(((((((Rain)))))))))))))) I am so angry that this happened to you. I hate this. I think she is on a power trip and it is time to go to someone else. You are innocent and it was not your fault. I am sorry she is gving you such a hard time.

I had a psych doc that told me to get used to my anxiety because it was a fact of life. I have a new doc now. He addresses my anxiety problems.

I hope you get some good help asap and you will get your med situation taken care of. My heart goes out to you. I really feel so angry at her for being so stupid and toxic. If I was you I would go to another doc and make a complaint against her. Big hugs.