How Common Would You Say Trauma Is?

[Deleted member 1860]

that whole "my pain is more righteous than your pain" We invalidate each other left and right because no one validated us.

I've noticed that (here on the forum) people swing the other direction and tend to go with NO acknowledgement whatsoever that one person's trauma can indeed be worse than another's, that one person's PTSD can indeed be worse than another's, and I find that to be equally disrespectful. It would be like saying the person who has a paper cut on his pinky has suffered the same as someone who has had his arm amputated. No, its not a contest, but I do think it *IS* healthy to acknowledge that there are degrees of trauma and PTSD. If *I* personally failed to recognize these differences, I'd be constantly beating myself up because I didn't heal as fast as some people.

Its all about a happy medium. Don't compare traumas in order to put yourself or others down, but at the same time acknowledge that there are indeed differences amongst us in severity.

 

[Friday]

Its all about a happy medium. Don't compare traumas in order to put yourself or others down, but at the same time acknowledge that there are indeed differences amongst us in severity.

I think that's a valid point. I agree with your conclusion (above), although I'm on the fence with the premise.

I think, in part, because it's so subjective. Severity can be significantly worse in PersonA, but PersonB can be can be off the SUDscale distressed about less frequent or less severe symptoms. Ditto, how many people are affected by one person's symptoms & in what way (not a math problem, just a "things get more complicated when you add more people than just the sufferer", and can go better with good support or worse with strife), how greatly a person's life is impacted by their symptoms regardless of severity, how much a person feels their life is impacted (and whether that's a distortion in either direction: minimizing or catastrophizing). Again, not disagreeing that there are differences, nor that the differences can be important both individually and on a group-scale... But I think that there are multiple areas of confluence... And I'm not sure how useful any of them are. Maybe a lot, maybe not at all. I know the similarities are useful as blazes, but I'm just not sure how useful the differences are.

It's an interesting thing to turn over in ones mind.

 

[shandemonium]

If *I* personally failed to recognize these differences, I'd be constantly beating myself up because I didn't heal as fast as some people.

I absolutely agree @Solara and I honestly can really relate to how you feel when that comes up. However, if we compare our healing, our healing timelines, or our pain to other people we can drive ourselves crazy!

For example, a person who has severe experiences like me or you might improve faster than someone who merely experienced one traumatic event. It doesn't make them weaker than us, just different.

What I hear from you is that you have been so severely invalidated by terrible people around you that it sort of 'pushes a button' (excuse the expression) when some floaty-pants "self-diagnosers" come on here with their "regular problems" and try to compare them to ours.
I totally get that.

Over time and feeling a little better, my reaction to those types sort of evolved to a light eye-roll instead of getting angry, and that was after a lot of validation from therapy.

Your experiences are valid and more severe than many people! Your healing timeline is yours alone and not any faster or slower than it "should" be.

Solara, I wish I could validate you a hundred times over for every asshole who didn't, or dismissed your life!

 

[anthony]

How common is trauma? Actually one of the easiest questions ever asked. In the US, 50% - 60% of all people will have suffered an criterion A trauma in their life. This figure translates approximately across civilised countries, some lower. It also is much higher in other countries, such as Algeria which has a 90% rate of enduring a criterion A trauma in a lifetime. Other African countries are much the same, along with some European countries.

So experiencing criterion A trauma is around half of most populations, so you have a 50:50 chance with a person.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

What I hear from you is that you have been so severely invalidated by terrible people around you that it sort of 'pushes a button' (excuse the expression) when some floaty-pants "self-diagnosers" come on here with their "regular problems" and try to compare them to ours.
I totally get that.

Yep, but its not just them. Its the people here who have MILD PTSD (in comparison) to others who brag about all that they do in life (a partner, 2.5 kids, a career AND in school) and then complain about VERY minor things in life over, and over and OVER again. It happens practically nightly in chat, and its just a TAD annoying that people really come here thinking they need "support" for minor annoyances in life (OMG I missed a question on my test and didn't get a perfect score!) while at the same time there are people going through horrendous PTSD episodes, others getting hit with severe mania and looking for help, etc. I'm not denying they have PTSD, but c'mon, don't come here and dominate chat with petty problems and think you deserve sympathy when there are so many others out there who are in a much worse condition! Its like the rich person living in the mansion who complains about property taxes to the homeless guy on the street corner and expects some sort of compassion. Uhm, nope, not going to happen. I am not denying that this person has PTSD, rather it is a bit shortsighted to think that people give a damn about such petty crap when MOST of us would kill to have such minor problems! Sorry, that was my rant for the day. Yes, people like this do make me feel invalidated by their sheer stupidity. I have a close relative who's trauma would literally blow many other traumas out of the water, including my own. I would be the BIGGEST @sshole on the face of the planet if I went to her with my petty problems and complained about my life knowing full well what she's endured. Its the same damn deal, but people get so caught up on this "we all suffer the same" bullshit which is incredibly ignorant because NO, we do NOT.

 

[Cool Cat]

some floaty-pants "self-diagnosers" come on here with their "regular problems" and try to compare them to ours.

What do you mean by a floaty pants person with regular problems?

to think that people give a damn about such petty crap when MOST of us would kill to have such minor problems!

I'm not sure how I feel about that point. Like...you never really know what's going on in someones head. And like you mightn't fully understand a problem either, or they mightn't tell the full picture.

And like this is a kinda abstract way of seeing it...but I used to think hotel staff had it easy. So when I was looking for an 'easy' job I started working as a room-cleaner. And it was awful! The people were THRASHING their rooms. They were really really rude to us. We had to clean rooms at a crazy fast rate to the point that it wasn't safe for us.

And like...to use myself as an example. I remember last year back when I was SHing so much that I was having to get medical attention twice a week and doing it on a daily basis. I was in a total crisis, but hiding it. And someone who knew a bit about me (bar all this stuff) told me they were jealous of me. I was like....