How Do I Beat Alcohol?

[Lucycat]

I will never go to an AA meeting. That is just not for me. I don't 'do' groups. I could not sit there and feel that I am being judged - although I appreciate that is not the truth. Also we are in a very small community and would be the end of my career.

However that said, I know some find it very helpful. So each to his own, as they say.

I bounce from abstinence to binging. I am trying to find the happy medium, with 'normal' drinking but it is extremely hard work. I can only deal with one issue at a time, and when I don't have the strength to tackle drink I try to abstain. I can happily stay off for months at a time, but I don't actually want to ban alcohol from the rest of my life. I'll just keep working at it, and slowly but surely get my life, in its entirety, back in order.

 

[anthony]

What you just said actually Lucy... about not drinking for months then binging... that is not all that bad actually in the scheme of things. If you said you binged every weekend / week, I would have a different opinion, but if you binge once or twice every x months... I would not call that an alcohol problem or even close.

People socialise and binge... events occur and we binge at times (Christmas, parties, etc), sometimes we just need to escape for a day or two and we binge. All of this is actually quite fine as long as your not making an idiot of yourself, its not affecting your relationship or employment... and its only ever x months, not week/s.

 

[Lucycat]

Thanks Anthony.
I guess I am a very harsh judge of myself.

I do consider it a problem, as I don't like the feeling of not being in control when I am drunk. yet I still do it.
However , yesterday I got awarded a 'trophy' for my first anniversary of registering on here. A whole year has passed since I stumbled upon this forum. It made me stop and think, and I really can see the progress I have made.

In the beginning I was drinking to excess most nights of the week. I needed a lot to get drunk, and I achieved that very regularly. Now I certainly drink much less frequently, and then when I do it is less than before. I have also stopped taking risks with it - for example I do not drink if I have work the next day. When I think I am at risk of being persuaded to overdo it - like when everyone around me is getting drunk, I stick to the soft drinks.

All in all, I think I am getting there, just a bit further to go yet.

 

[anthony]

That is a very logical, smart way to look at your history and rationalize it. Well done.

I was the same, especially being military and encouraged to drink... I didn't just get it under control completely in a year, but similar to yourself, my management of it had significantly improved and noticeable to even myself. Over further years of experience, events, parties, etc, I continually honed and got drinking completely under control, yet without removing it from my life.

Lets face facts... sometimes its just nice to chill out, have a drink or two and allow it to really relax you for a brief period. When you get to that point, you don't have hangovers after one or two drinks, you don't do silly things or become drunk, you do enjoy yourself and wakeup refreshed still the next day.

Well done and really excellent self evaluation. Impressive, and I hope more follow in the same footsteps you have for yourself.

 

[Gamereign555]

I quit cold turkey earlier this year. At the time I was on Valium for months and after I quit taking the Valium I felt like I needed a drink. I decided to just have one everyonce and awhile and leave it at that. My therapist and my girlfriend think that I should never drink again though, its dumb what they are proposing. It makes no sense to me.
I do have addictive tendencies but I think I have demonstrated moderation on a very light scale, and I don't over drink either. On top of that, drinking has never gotten me into serious trouble, with law, health or anything else I can think of. Drinking everyday just made me a worthless layabout...functional but worthless :)

I'm pretty much just going to continue to have one every once and awhile, shoot sometimes once a month is okay for me. But something in me refuses to believe that never having another drink is my answer.

 

[mamachick]

My T told me over 2 yrs ago that I should not drink-ever I guess. At the time, I had used alcohol to get the courage to take pills in a suicide attempt. Following this, I went for several months and did not drink as I agreed and needed to see my mood in the absense of any alcohol. I found I was very depressed and had actually gotten worse over time from the anti depressant I was on. After that was changed and stabilized, I have felt better.

I understand the T concern when client is admitted OD and with alcohol. I just wonder if others have abused alcohol during a period of time or to work up courage for something but no longer have need to do so?

Does that mean that since I have abused alcohol, (non addicted) I should never use alcohol?

 

[anthony]

Does that mean that since I have abused alcohol, (non addicted) I should never use alcohol?

Exactly... total BS IMO. I abused it, was dependent on it at one point... yet changed my behaviour to it based on what the real problems where, not masking it with alcohol... now I can drink responsibly and enjoy it on occassions, without craving it.

Went out last night and had four light beers at a dinner function... hadn't had a drink in 1 - 2 months before last night. It is easier IMHO to learn how to moderate drinking than to just put it out of your life completely, then deal with cravings where you want to binge and binge upon it.

 

[mamachick]

Anthony-I agree for myself. Some may need to be abstinant but I do thin we push AA-its not for me. I am not opposed to 12 step and appreciate that it helps some, I can apply 12 steps to other aspects of life. I just personally do not see the benefit for myself. Thanks and I agree totally

 

[Lucycat]

I have been aware recently that my alcohol intake has again crept up. I am not drinking anything near what I used to, but I should not really be drinking at all with the pills I take. I very quickly start talking gibberish and nonsense after a fairly small quantity of alcohol.

I have not really cared too much. I have been off work for weeks and thought 'what the heck?'
As I thought I was going back to work this week at the weekend I made the conscious decision to quit (again). On Wednesday I flipped and had a whole bottle of wine ( in the comfort of my own home so only talking nonsense to Rory).

I know I was reverting to an old coping mechanism to get me through a stressful situation. However, even with the hangover yesterday, I felt much clearer in what I need to do to sort out my problem. I carried through my action plan. Successfully resolved my concerns and managed not to have a drink to celebrate.

I feel quite proud of myself. I did not let one bad day lead me to the excuse of just giving up as I would have before. I know this will always be a difficulty for me, and I need to stay aware of my behaviour, but I feel so much more in control of me than I ever used to.

 

[shell]

I embarrassed to say, I am really struggling with this issue, I haven't ever discussed it with my T because I'm embarrassed to admit I'm using it to numb my feelings and to stop remembering.

I wait until my son's going to bed, by then I've usually had one or two and then I have another couple, but I notice that I'm now drinking every night. In recognition of my issue I did manage two alcohol free nights this week, but I was really struggling just to do that.

Thankfully I only get pleasantly numb and then I stop, but my drinking is increasing. Before I started getting memories I didn't drink at all, I guess I could say I need to deal with it and stop thinking it's okay because I'm not aggressive and it just makes me sleepy and relaxed.

 

[Lucycat]

Shell, I am sure that you will have read that difficulties with alcohol go hand-in-hand with PTSD. Your T would not be at all surprised if you choose to discuss it with him. Neither will he judge you, so there is no need to be embarrassed.

I have discussed it with my T and he has been very supportive. He never criticizes me for having too much, or judges me when my drinking starts to get out of control again. He very gently helps me to find ways to regain that control and keep moving forwards.

It is great that you have acknowledged to yourself that this is a problem. You are already trying to deal with it by self induced alcohol free days. Brilliant!! That is you taking control. I think you will have seen from previous posts in this thread that nobody would suggest you need to stop drinking - just do so in a way that you are comfortable with, is healthy and you feel it is not controlling you. I am sure you'll be just fine.

Best wishes
Lucy x

 

[Lionheart]

Lucycat,

I am afraid that my initial response to this thread was not a very compassionate one nor did I share my personal experience with you and for that I apologize!

My experience with abstaining from alcohol is that I had to stop counting the days I had remained sober because I didn't find it helpful at all. I also had to address abuse issues and develop some positive coping skills before I had any success at all. Even then, the success was tenuous.

What did help me is to be totally honest with myself and for me, that meant that I had to accept that from time to time I am going to drink. So now I drink, but I do not drink to excess, I always drink someplace safe where I can spend the night, and now, the occasional two-three drinks to relax and socialize happen about 4-6 times a year, rather than frequent binge drinking to escape problems.

I was also fortunate in the fact that I developed a physical intolerance to alcohol and can only have small amounts, (otherwise I suffer 3-day hangovers).

I can't say what it will take for you to have success with beating alcohol, but I wanted to tell you that I support you all the way.

Best wishes,
LH