How Do I Control Panic Attacks?

[Jlso111187]

I need help I have never really had panic attacks and for some reason as the time gets closer to burying my grandma today panic and anxiety sets in. My chest hurts so bad, it feels like a huge weight is on my chest. My heart is racing and my breathing is hard. What do I do????

 

[abetterme]

Hello,

First and foremost, here's a big hug. I have suffered from panic attacks for years now, but unfortunately I still haven't learned how to really deal with them. I end up pacing back and forth trying to talk myself into calming down. I try breathing techniques, etc. I deal better now than when I first started having them. I called 911 thinking I was having a heart attack. My kids still tease me about that.

I wish I could tell you the one thing to do that would bring back the calmness, but I don't have the answers. I know how your feeling and how scary panic attacks are. Hang in there. Google breathing techniques for panic, sometimes they help me.

Take care,
Denise

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

:hug: I am so sorry that today you will bury your Grandma. We buried my Dad 15 weeks ago today.

Breathing in slowly through your nose to the count of 8 if you can, then slowly exhale through your mouth twice as many 'counts'. If you can do this several times your body will get the message. (Even if you can only breath in 4 counts, and 8 out).

Most important, cry if you need to. This is a day where it is expected and accepted to cry. You loved her and still do! Your memories of her will never leave, and you'll 'hear' her in your heart. My little girl died 20 years ago, and I still sense her presence. Energy and love never die. She is with you in a different way, but her love is as real as it ever was.

Holding back tears, I have found, has led to the worst panic attacks I've ever had. So, let those tears flow, and accept hugs, as hugs from her, reminding you of her love.

Blessings & Peace I am praying for you today, and the days to come. The grief process IS a process, and it is different for everyone. Don't let anyone tell you how to grieve. That is your experience, not for them to judge.

You are not alone in your grief. Be sure and accept the prayers, and comfort others' offer you. It will soothe your soul. IF there is any negativity, walk away. This is a day of peace.

Love & Prayers,
AKJ

 

[nursenurse]

I had a major panic attack over ten years ago, thought I was buying the farm. They always feel worse, but for me what works when I get those feelings again is the deep breathing as described by AKJ above, there are studies which say that it is as effective as benzodiazapines for calming anxiety. My deep breathing differs only in that I hold my breath for a count of 3 before exhaling. I won't say it works to get rid of the panic 100% but it does seem to take the edge off the anxiety, and there are no side effects.

Nix the caffeine products today too, including sodas and regular tea. Distraction for a bit - I find talk radio where I force myself to listen to the conversation, helps. Just a short amount of time might help you focus a little. A short walk? Prayers - from a Catholic point of view the rosary helps, not necessarily because of the spirituality (although we would love to think that) but because of the number and repetitiveness of the prayers. Kind of like deep breathing for the soul. You could find a prayer or a saying that you like, and the mindful repetition might help slow down the heart and the anxious feelings.

And as AKJ said. Cry. It is therapeutic. It is a sign of your humanity, it is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of your love, and should be viewed as a healing tool, healing for your grief, healing for your soul.

Kleenex and hugs for those tears make good band aids too :)

Thoughts and prayers going your way.
NN

 

[LittleGirlLost]

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. But sometimes it helps me in situations where every human being is supposed to panic or cry or be depressed to realize that while PTSD probably is making it worse, it's a totally expected experience for anyone dealing with death. That usually makes me feel relieved and sometimes even excited that it's not just another thing I can't handle that everyone else can. Most people can't handle death.

If, like me, part of your larger issue with death is that you've already lost people very close to you and you feel like you absolutely can't handle more loss and that maybe you're cursed, it might help to remind yourself that death is a natural part of life and even if you've experienced more of it than other people, it's not your fault and it's not a curse...it's just life. Good things happen and bad things happen regardless of who you are.

My therapist also has me remind myself if I'm triggered that the things that hurt me before are in the past. They're just memories. And I'm safe. I'm safe and I can handle this. That sometimes helps.

Deep breathing is a big plus. Sometimes even just suddenly remembering that I'm not breathing helps. And if you can't make yourself breathe, you might try to get someone who loves you to talk you through breathing.

Another thing my therapist has suggested is to create a visualized safe space that is only yours. Mine is a clearing in the woods with a rope-and-wood swing. When I'm panicking, I visualize being on the swing and sync up my swinging with my breathing.

She also suggests putting my feet flat on the ground and touching each of my fingertips to its counterpart. Counting, also, is useful in calming down. Counting tiles or patterns or just counting. You might also look into bilateral stimulation or "butterfly taps". I don't tend to use them, but my therapist likes them a lot.

Singing works for me too, but that may be a personal thing. Distraction is great, but for me, what it tends to mean is that I get really depressed because the feeling that caused the panic lingers and didn't get acknowledged and then for the next several days, I panic and don't leave my apartment. So be careful that if you're using distraction, you still acknowledge whatever is making you feel the way you're feeling.

But I think probably the most important things for me to remember are:

1) The dread of something is always worse than the actual event. If I can just get there or do the thing or meet the person, I usually find that it's not nearly as awful as I thought it was and that I can absolutely handle it. It's the dread of what might happen that's always the worst part.
2) It's okay to feel whatever you're feeling that's causing you to panic. Acknowledge it and let it be there. It's a part of you and it's how you're feeling. But remember that it's not the only thing you're feeling. It's not the only thing you are. And it's not the only thing there is. There is still joy to be had. Know that it's there and that it'll be there, but remind yourself of something that brings you joy so that you don't feel like the dread is all there is.


I hope that helps. Feel better!

 

[LhasaLover]

Hi Jlso111187,

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother. It's a shot in the dark, but Cognitive Behavior Therapy did help me in coping with panic & anxiety attacks. CBT did not address all my issues or "cure me", but it did help. I studied the Anxiety and Phobia workbook by Edmund Bourne and did work with my therapist at the time who specialized in CBT.

CBT focuses on your belief system, if you Google "Using CBT to Overcome Panic Attacks, by Roger Tilton, Ph.D.", you will get a general idea of how it works!

If you get the Bourne book from your library or pick it up and check it out it is quite helpful. The workbook lets you know the structure of an anxiety attack and customize a plan that works for you. While CBT allieviates symptoms quickly, it does not replace psychotherapy as resolving the issue.

Deep breathing, distractions... all these things will help. Coming to terms with the death of someone close to you really doesn't have a timetable, so be patient!

Big Hug!!!

LL

 

[Jlso111187]

Thank all of you guys for your support and ideas. I got through it. Not easy but I did it. Deep breathing was what helped me the most. I also made sure I was at a area where I could exit easy and that helped.

Thank all of you guys again.

 

[LhasaLover]

Excellent work Jlso11187! I know it is not easy at all! Hope you feel a bit better, I always feel a bit shakey after an anxiety attack.

I really did like the Bourne book, he classifies the difference between panic vs. anxiety attacks, there's an anxiety diary where you can track when your anxiety peaks and triggers. Overall, the work you do in this book can help control panic and anxiety attacks to some extent. My therapist used to xerox pages out of it for my CBT homework. Apparently there is a new book out just about these attacks. I have not read the new book yet, but the logical approach appeals to me personally when I am feeling fearful.

While I am now in psychoanalysis, the CBT work has a lot helped as a coping mechanism.

I am truly so sorry about your loss and am happy for you that you got through this attack. As someone with major anxiety, I totally can relate to what you are experiencing. Death and loss are big triggers for me. My cousin committed suicide last May and I was a wreck although I am much better now.

Big Hug,

LL

 

[Jlso111187]

I will have to go get myself that book. I am sorry about you cousin LL.

 

[safenow]

What do I do????

Since you know what is causing it, I suggest you talk to your grandmother's spirit. Let her know how much you love her and that you are going to miss her until the two of your are reunited again.

Safe hugs if you allow me to. I miss my mother and from time to time a part of me used to talk to her. It was Shay, my little who lived out back. We would look up into the sky, and know that she was up there somewhere. We didn't know where, but we knew she was safe and even though she couldn't intervene, she was watching all that was going on with my sister and I.

I am sure your grandmother doesn't want you to be upset at this time. If she was in pain, know that she is not in pain any longer. If she died from old age, then know she lived a good long time, and was able to share your life for period of time. That is a great joy for any woman, to see her grandchildren.

Take good care of you.
safenow

 

[Jlso111187]

Safenow, that was not the only trigger, my rapist is her son. So had to be around him. On top of that we have a HUGE family and I dont do well in crowds even if it is family.

 

[safenow]

My cousin committed suicide last May

May I recommend you do something this coming May that allows you to remember the happy times you and your cousin had together. That way you are honoring their life and sending the message to them that you miss them.

Sorry for not saying she/he, but since I don't know, I just used them.

I know that when we are depressed to the point of not caring about anyone else, we tend to believe that death is better than life. I'm sorry that person was so upset. I pray you never get that depressed.

safenow