cause I could have seizure (which I don't really believe)
Before I answer your actual OQ... Which will take a little more time to write...This. ^^^^
Hugely important.
If you're having to taper your benzo? You're already addicted to it*. Which is normal/expected with benzodiazepines and certain other meds taken on a regular basis instead of intermittently. Kicking the addiction sucks, but it's faaaaaar preferred to dying, which is why responsible docs will absolutely rx these drugs to people at severe risk of suicide if the anxiety isn't managed
now, and for a long enough time to give them some space to breathe & time to get into therapy & learn coping mechanisms.
And, yes. Seizures and death is the risk of either quitting cold turkey, or "just" switching to another med. As in, even if you switched to something else tomorrow? You'd
still have to taper the benzo in order to keep the physical addiction from killing you.
Addiction does
not equal abuse*. Just like cancer patients get addicted to their pain meds (and have to be weaned off, so they can
go back on them before the next round of surgeries and chemo/rad ) without ever abusing them even once, psych patients get addicted to several of the many classes of drugs we're prescribed. Once someone is physically addicted to a substance, it has to be handled very very carefully removing it. Some? Will "only" cause you to be violently ill and miserable for a few days/ weeks/ months. Some? Will kill you to go off of them too quickly.
The 2 biggest risks with benzo withdrawal are seizures & suicide.
The wiki on benzo withdrawal is fairly decent. Here's an except, but the entire page is worth reading. There are better plain-English descriptions on the web, but they're mostly geared toward people who have been taking benzodiazepines recreationally, or abusing them, and that's not you.
Benzodiazepine withdrawal is characterized by sleep disturbance, irritability, increased tension and anxiety, panic attacks, hand tremor, sweating, difficulty with concentration, confusion and cognitive difficulty, memory problems, dry retching and nausea, weight loss, palpitations, headache, muscular pain and stiffness, a host of perceptual changes, hallucinations, seizures, psychosis,[1] and suicide[2] (see "Signs and Symptoms" section below for full list).
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benzodiazepine_withdrawal_syndrome
I happen to be a pretty big fan of benzos on a personal level, as they're one of the very few meds out there which will actually work for me. When I'm doing well (and being smart) I keep a bottle of Valium locked away but on hand for emergencies. When I'm doing badly? I can't take them at all, because I'd need to be taking them daily. Sigh. That's my bad news. My, good news, yep! Got a whole long list of ways to deal with anxiety off med! More on that in a bit :)
* Addiction & Abuse are 2 entirely different creatures.
- You can be addicted to something and not abusing it (intentional medical addiction is a great example).
- You can be abusing something and not be addicted to it (think stereotypical college kids and drinking. Are they abusing alcohol? Yes. But most can stop on a dime and not suffer a single withdrawal symptom).
- You can both be addicted to something and be abusing it (think 12-step programs).
