How Do You Deal With Fallout After Sessions?

[Jade-]

My sessions have been so intense lately. The traumas I have been working on have been major ones. I thought I was doing fine and coping well, but obviously, I'm not. I had an intense session on tuesday and by wednesday night I was suicidal.

I never really connected the dots before, but after a session, everything seems "different". Everything seems magnified. People's voices are so loud and everything they say/do irritates the piss out of me. My feelings are hurt easily, I'm depressed, I over-react, I can't seem to make rational decisions, I'm self destructive, I want to hurt people(especially myself), I'm forgetful, I'm angry, bitter, bitchy, spiteful, hateful and mean. I hate myself and everyone/everything around me.

So my question is, how do you deal with fallout? What has helped you? What worked for me in the beginning of therapy no longer helps. I know things are supposed to get worse before they get better, but I need to make sure I stay "here" so that I do get better.

BTW: I did seek help this past week, but it was just for that specific crisis. I need to learn coping skills so that I can prevent future problems.

 

[Tinyflame]

Hi Jadebear,

I once read a saying "People never think they will run out of reasons to live".

Apart from mindfulness, distractions, etc, I think if you have one thing you can feel remotely good about or can live for (or just makes you feel better or stronger) even that helps. Even if it's a "daily" thing.

I think it's important to recognize the difference between feeling there is nothing to live for versus trying to make the pain and stress and perhaps feelings of shame etc these sessions have brought up (ie your past experiences have brought up) stop. They are past. I realize (their) fall-out is not past, but they are past, and hopefully you will never have to go thru anything like that again. -Things can get better.

Perhaps now is a good time to tell your T that you feel like you need to go over what you need to cope with these memories/ experiences before you go further. At least perhaps tell him/ her what you're experiencing, and see what they suggest.

 

[Jade-]

Thanks june. I have talked to my T. and he thinks I just need to keep moving forward in processing my traumas. He was undecided at first, but feels it will help with the suicidal tendencies. Although processing them is very hard, he thinks it will be beneficial in the long run.

I just need to know what others do to deal with the fallout....I just don't know how to make myself feel better in a healthy, safe and legal way.

 

[Jade-]

Do others just accept that it's fallout and that it will pass and let yourselves feel shitty for awhile? Do you just keep yourself busy, be a workaholic? Stay in bed and not get up? Re-paint your entire house until the feelings go away?.....

 

[Nighthawk]

Jadebear,
I often have irrational thoughts and don't deal with them well after therapy as well. My T and I are trying to take the last 15 min of our sessions to close some of the memories we have opened so that I cope better after the session. I tend to try and hide until I calm down, this is not always an option. Some of the things I have done are, take a swim, hit a punching bag and yelled at the top of my lungs.

Nighthawlk

 

[Jade-]

Nighthawlk, that's a good idea to take the last 15 minutes of the session to close some of the memories. The bad thing for me is I usually don't really begin talking until close to the end of the session. Then I'm left feeling like shit when I leave. I've been going since march, I should be able to start talking as soon as I get in there, but It takes awhile for me to get the nerve to.

Hitting a punching bag sounds like a good way to release the pent up energy. I need to find ways to get it all out instead of trying to hold it in and act like I'm fine and everything's ok. That just causes it to build up and then I start spiraling down hill real fast.

 

[changed]

Jadebear I have felt suicidal after my sessions too. It just builds up in me after sessions and I get angry and depressed, to the point where I was hospitalised because I was taking my thoughts as fact and felt the need to act on them. Nothing seems to make me feel better, I cant even think about relaxation or mindfullness I just feel the need to do something. I know this isnt helpful but just to let you know you are not alone with this problem.

Take Care
Hope you find answers
Changedxx

 

[Jade-]

Thanks changed. It actually does help to know I'm not alone with this problem. Sometimes I feel like I am, so I appreciate your reply.

 

[intothelight]

Somehow it doesn't seem right that "therapy" should make people feel suicidal. I don't think anything is wrong with the patient, that is why they're in therapy in the first place. Is there something incompetent about the therapist?

This may not even apply, but something seems wrong here.

 

[changed]

It does sound messed up huh?!
I think it depends on the therapy, its EMDR thats playing havoc with my mind and put me here. Although I think its purpose is to bring all the hard stuff to the surface so that we deal with it rather than bury it away. I dont know....I hope its for the best!!

Changed xx

 

[Jade-]

ITL, in my case I think it's just the traumas themselves that make it so hard for me. It wasn't so bad at first, but now the things I'm talking about are major things.

They say things get worse before they get better....I'm hoping that's true. I'm assuming it's true, cause if it weren't, I don't think there would be too many ptsd survivors.

 

[PainX2]

I tend to withdraw after my sessions. I am usually a numb zombie for a day or so, then I cry, and usually somewhere around day 3-4, I start to come out of it. Just in time for my next session in a couple of days.... seems like a crazy ferris wheel sometimes...