How Do You Eliminate Suffering?

[sun seeker]

Okay, bear with me, I know this is an odd question to ask on a board where by definition, people are suffering more than normal people can imagine possible. I haven't completely gone off the deep end (I think)!

It's just another question on my mind. Whether the knowledge is theoretical, or whether you are part of the way there and can see a light at the end of the tunnel... what, in your estimation, is the answer to eliminating suffering? Is it even possible? Or lessening it at least, if it isn't possible to eliminate it. Theories, experience, book recommendations, rants to the effect that it is impossible, all welcome.

 

[ms spock]

First - qualified trauma professional
Second - live somewhere safe
Third - have enough food to eat

After that - it is up to you, my suggestions:

The Feeling Good Book by David Burns - burst those distorted cognitions.
http://feelinggood.com/

http://self-compassion.org/
http://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/

The Mindful Way Through Depression - great book

MBSR course - 8 weeks - if your trauma therapist says it is okay.

Develop your own Mindfulness Practice morning and night

Exercise - morning and night

Disco dancing - shake ya booty

Finding a purpose for your life - so you contribute to your community and society.

Be involved with social justice.

Enjoying nature

 

[sun seeker]

@Ms Spock, can I throw in another question here? Two for the price of one?

How do you find a purpose for your life? The answer to that will be different for everyone, but for you, can I ask how that process worked?

Thank you for the suggestions. I will definitely look into them.

 

[ms spock]

What are your interests @sun seeker? What makes you go ahhhhhhhhhhh? Do creative complex ideas excite you? Or does bird watching take your fancy? What are your passions? Try stuff out. Do a short course. Talk to people (much like you are doing). Do you want to make the world a better place? Or does your local community really excite you? Do you like working with young people? Are Star Trek fans your posse?

Kind of helps to be stabilised a bit before but you can do little things along the way.

I am still on my L plates with getting a life @sun seeker, didn't have one before the trauma started when I was a kid. But there are heaps of people on this site who have a purpose and found their way - maybe start another thread on that at some point?

I am passionate about social justice, education and I love complex ideas that are enlightening and get you to think. So I am (albeit very slowly) training to be a teacher. I am passionate and enthusiastic so I want to make the world a better place by being involved with education. But sometimes I am still a bit lost. Identity moratorium I guess. Haven't made it out of adolescence as of yet but I am (very slowly) making progress.

 

[sun seeker]

Wow... this is an interesting article on SSRIs from one of the websites you linked to.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/antid...t-be-best-treatment-robert-whitaker-1.2667410

 

[ms spock]

Breaking down the ten distorted cognitions really helps with depression - though I am still refining my understanding of them @sun seeker

Radical acceptance would probably eliminate a lot of suffering but I am not there as of yet.

Not procrastinating about doing things - that would eliminate a lot of suffering.

Practising daily gratitude is important as well.

We did a challenge on the Shawn Archer book on this form - that was great!

 

[sun seeker]

What are your interests @sunseeker? What makes you go ahhhhhhhhhhh?

I should have clarified from the beginning that I'm not asking this question for myself. At this point it is more of an academic question.

Having said that, until very recently, I would have had to answer "nothing." I had no interests, no passions, because I was so beaten down that all I was doing was surviving, and only barely. My own path to where I am now wouldn't necessarily work for most people, though trauma therapy was an important part of it. I'm trying to get a sense of what works most often for the most people.

I think it's a good point when you say some stabilization is important first. That is probably where the trauma therapy comes in, to get rid of some of the crap in the way so we can see clearly, no?

 

[ms spock]

I am not a medical professional, a therapist or too savvy in the ways of the world, but to me stabilisation is probably the most important thing for me - which I have not attained as of yet, as I am working hard to come out of dissociation, fantasyland, depersonalisation and derealisation.

I cannot see how you can do that much until you are safe, secure and grounded, and I haven't manage that as of yet, but I am improving.

 

[sun seeker]

I cannot see how you can do that much until you are safe, secure and grounded, and I haven't manage that as of yet, but I am improving.

And you are working hard at it and have come a long way, from what I can see. Kudos to you for all your hard work.

I just wish there were any easier way. For all of us. I guess that is what I am looking for, trying to find the elements that would make the recovery process easier. I've had enough of life being hard.

 

[ms spock]

I so get what you are saying I am really sick of life being so hard, and I must say that is most clever and strategic to start working that type of thing out for yourself.

I got stuck in trying to work things out without doing the basics, so now I am going to complete the basics.

 

[Neverthesame]

what, in your estimation, is the answer to eliminating suffering?

I suppose, you could abstain from anything that gives one pleasure. What was referred to as suffering, would then become the unpleasant.

We can't understand bad, without the good to compare it too.

(Couldn't think of a real suggestion.)

 

[Fadeaway]

What are your interests @sunseeker? What makes you go ahhhhhhhhhhh? Do creative complex ideas excite you? Or does bird watching take your fancy? What are your passions?

That is probably one of the most distressing things that has been a consistent since I was a child. When I was a kid in elementary school and had to write about it, I never had an answer, and I am no closer now. It is a real sore spot because I feel that if I could just find that one thing, I could cope better.

I have asked my therapist and she says it is something I have to discover on my own, but all I have is a huge list of dislikes, or things I would be interested in trying but are completely out of reach due to finances or flat out impossible. As far as flat out impossible goes, I think I would be very passionate about family. As bad as I crave it above all things, I think that must be it. Since I can't have kids, and less than a handful of relatives I did have are dead except my abuser, it truly isn't possible.