How Do You Explain Ptsd To Others?

[Myanxietyhasanxiety]

Great question. Oh boy, this one was a tough one for me. Many lessons learned.

I found myself reading your post, and relating quite a bit to myself in the early stages of diagnosis. I too had an amazing, supportive, loving support system. A group of highly educated folks from all different parts of the world. Among my family. Self- help types that I first went to for advice.

I'm grateful to every single one of them for their love, and helping me navagate through my DX to healing, ect...

Unfortunately, in my case I have learned the REALLY really hard way, that not everyone GETS it. Initally they all cheered me on, told me how strong on was, prayed from me. Then it went to... un solicited advice, then to frustration. To then, taking my absenteeism and need to be alone Personal. And a few isolated cases, gossiping about it amoung themselves. The whispers of " Get over it.... its time to move on.... ect." And some of these friends WERE educated in the medical field. Unfortunately, I have lost many friends during this process.

I have had some say hurtful things to me. And some just stopped calling. It was extremely difficult time. I had this deep need and desire to connect, but then in the same breathe this BIGGER need to isolate. Triggered left and right.

Human nature is for them to want to "Help" but not everyone understands what that means. Its human nature to want to help to "problem solve" and I think in a lot of ways, they thought they could "fix" me.

The reality was. No one can fix me, expect me, and I never again would be the ME I once knew.

It's a huge grieving process.

My point is, the lesson I learned: Have very clear boundaries with your supporters.

Don't be afraid to say: No. Without explaining yourself.

Don't be afraid to say: I would love your advice. Or not love your advice but please understand I am navagating a very difficult time and I may need some time alone. That I care for you deeply. Please understand my absence is not a reflection on you. I care about connecting with you, but please be patient with me, ect...

I now send my friends links to PTSD supporters. If they read it: awesome. If not, I understand too. Attached is something I send out a few months ago.

Fortunately. Those that stuck by, are fabulous, and love me Anyways! No expectations and very patient.

 

[RuthieJujube]

I've explained it to friends as being like a computer glitch. The trauma memory files are too large for our processing system. They overwhelm the computer (your brain) and shut it down. The computer is stuck trying to process this file and cannot move on. The system already knows what is means to function properly, but that doesn't matter. Until this file is processed, the system cannot work correctly. We can introduce new files, but they have to wait in the queue. No amount of "good" files can fix the fact that there is this nasty file already shutting down the system.

 

[Weemie]

I'm rarely in a situation where I feel the need to disclose I have PTSD. When I am, usually the people around me understand what PTSD is. (I am in an ambulance. I am in the hospital. I am being arrested by the police.) Sometimes I will discuss My Brane without mentioning PTSD specifically. Usually in those times I refer to Bella, she is my tiny sympathetic nervous system baby and she periodically LOSES HER F*CKING MIND and destroys everything in her path. Wailing infant SNS tantrums suck, but my brain is just Doing A Thing. Soothe, soothe. Be easy. My brain just doesn't Do Stress.

 

[Gadgie]

Aye! But when you come toe think about it, why should we have to explain to others that we have PTSD, can't they accept us for what we are, how we are.

After all, we are still human, and PTSD is part of being human, an ugly part maybe, but still human.

 

[blackemerald1]

I do notice that those I have to tell that I have PTSD, Major Depression & Major Anxiety assume they know all about it. I find this amazing with so much information via electronic means. But they DONT make any effort to acquaint themselves with information. Then when I fall apart, they get frustrated, impatient, angry & dismissive. All sorts of abusive, insensitive, ignorant responses follow about why I am this or that. Not making an effort to 'just get over it!' Which just makes me so much worse. I had a small but potentally deadly accident the other day, needed an ambulance & hospital treatment. Had to tell the Dr etc I was mental, well I didn't say that but the proper words. Went into shock from the accident as well as a huge panic attack which made my heart go crazy & blood pressure drop through the floor & they told me to 'go to sleep'???? I didn't have my meds, totally spun out & they got loud & impatient with me. No respect whatsoever ever! I got out of there as soon as I could walk. Good grief so much publicity about mental awareness, PTSD etc., & ICU highly trained medical staff just don't have a clue or don't give a dam. Something isn't working too well & it's not just me.

 

[stillstanding2]

But I'm a coward, it doesn't seem like everyday conversation.

I don't regard that as cowardice. I've found there is no point in discussing something as personal as PTSD with people who can't or won't hear me. It's just good assessment of whom to trust. After all, most people converse in a shallow, shorthand language that often avoids sincerity.

Unfortunately, these are the days of sound bites. And most people settle for that out of real cowardice, which is their own fear of hearing anything that might awaken their own demons or challenging their own understandings.

 

[Born to Run]

In my experience nobody who does not have it, gets it and I do not blame them as it is so beyond anything that 'normal' people have to deal with in their own lives. If I tell I have it, I do it without explaining. If they ask and want to know more, then it shows they are not afraid you have something contagious ;-), and I say something like: growing up in a warzone, but then with primary caregivers as your enemies.

 

[Ronin]

I tend to say I've been through a lot of painful situations and my brain never fully recovered from it but it's worked on & not contagious & no, I won't flip out on you randomly & all is well in kingdom hell just don't do ___ if you want to keep in touch.

 

[Changing4Best]

Other than saying I have PTSD, I don't go into it in any kind of detail. I have not told many folks, not even my family except my niece. I suspected that she has it too, so I told her I have it and she told me she has it too. My best friend has it as well, so I told her. In her case, her baby was murdered and the murderer, her ex-husband is in prison for life without parole. I consider her case worse than mine, if one can compare one's case with someone else's. No one was killed in my situation, so that is why I consider hers more serious than mine, if that makes any sense?

 

[UnKnown-Self]

So how do you explain it?

Once I read your post and your question, the first thought that leaped into my head was, "Leave me the f*ck alone."
Yep, that's how I would explain it.
Tis the season my jingles and jangles get tangled and Christmas Bells become Hell's Bells.
I also have dissociative influences and I am still working to understand how it all does affect me.

How do you understand it? How does it affect you?

I've found is that many of them believe it's something you can think your way out of. Or they say things that imply that it's a choice or that I have more power than I'm letting on.

You just described how I feel where I currently am working with my therapist.

Sometimes I feel like I'm blowing smoke up my own kazoo. I think, I'm just making excuses because I'm lazy and I'm a mental hypochondriac and want pity and then I'm really disgusted with myself. But then I remember, how long this has been with me. I also remember how important it is to stand in and stand by "My Truth". I've been challenged about "My Truths" before.

I do believe change is possible but it takes making a commitment and embracing the work. I have many moments when I'd rather embrace a porcupine but other options are unacceptable. Exercising change is recognizing the opportunity to do so and then following through. I don't need to convince my therapist. Instead I can choose to find a therapist who will "get it" and help guide me.

I don't have friends. I have a few acquaintances. I have tried explaining and I don't think it works for me. I have not experienced a good reason for explaining PTSD. So now I ask myself, what would be the purpose of telling someone? Afterwards, would I feel like I gave some power away? Do I second guess later why I shared or if they will now see me differently?
So I don't share without a good reason.

This board provides good reasons to share and learn. It is a safe place too.

Those who consciously seek out life, seeking inwards and embrace the work, they all think different, trauma/no trauma and have different perceptions. The emphasis on "What?" is "What Learned?" not "What Happened?"

Thank you for the question :-)

Alice

 

[Ed Norton]

I haven't really had to explain it. I have a friend who doesn't know anything at all, all he thinks is that I take a lot of pills to calm myself and because I like to. One guy has is BA in psych, so there's no need. The rest are somewhere on that spectrum. I've been fortunate that I don't have to explain it to anyone.

 

[stillstanding2]

"Leave me the f*ck alone."

Hah! Sounds like my attitude much of the time. Unless I have a personal need to talk through something, or maybe should explain to someone why I might have been sounded irritated, the subject seldom comes up. I've made it clear to most people I'm close to (including myself) that I have very little left to prove to anyone.