How Do You Find A Puzzle-master Beyond Yourself?

[Hope4Now]

I am getting desperate. I need to find a person, or a team of people at some place, who can help me put all these symptom pieces into some kind of whole. I don't know what is "medical" and what is "trauma" sequelae. All the doctoring and therapeutic folk have their own specialities. And all have versions of the same advice which have to do with slowing down, de-stressing, sleeping, exercising, and processing trauma.

It has been 2 years and I am getting worse in a lot of ways. Better in my self-knowledge, and marginally better in realization and personalization. But worse in more ways than better.

Has anybody found a person/place who can make sense of the mish-mash of medical and psychosomatic ickiness?

 

[Recovery4Me]

(((hugs))) Often we are that person that diligently places our puzzle together & that place is our current attitude in the moment.

I am going to an integrative medicine clinic on Friday, if there is something more than what you offered in the quote below~

And all have versions of the same advice which have to do with slowing down, de-stressing, sleeping, exercising, and processing trauma.

I will offer.

However, self acceptance and self compassion (without an vicious inner critic holding some abstract measuring stick) is a nice foundation for your puzzle. Be kind to you and gentle on the measuring of lack (?). You are good enough in this moment. (((hugs)))

 

[sun seeker]

My answer is kinda weird. I'll PM you.

 

[Mallaky]

The feeling of getting worse is normal. This journey is not straight foward. Up and down, and forwards and backwards it is. The most important thing for me was to learn patience. Unfortunately dealing with ptsd is a very long term thing. Once I was through it a few times that ugly feeling of "everything turns to shit" started to stress me out less and less, and always proved itself wrong.
To your question: A shitton of reading and writing, good professionells and time, time, time. That did the trick for me.

 

[DogwoodTree]

My Ts have occasionally suggested using an IOP (intensive outpatient program). They're expensive, and I can't afford that. So they suggested I put together my own program. That means no one person gives me the big picture, but I can reach out to lots of different types of people to help me see it from lots of different perspectives. So...yoga (and they've also suggested acupuncture) for body work, equine therapy for an experiential approach, regular talk therapy sessions for that side of it, marriage therapy sessions, EMDR for trauma processing (that one scares me, but working on it), natural supplements (instead of medications, which I don't want) to help optimize my body's ability to deal with all of this, formal autism evaluation for the suspected Asperger's and for some insights on how to modify the other things with that aspect in mind, hiking (and other special interests) to get to know myself better, social interactions through church and other sources for minimizing isolation tendencies...they're big proponents of taking a "multi-faceted approach" to working through it all. I don't do all of it all the time, but rotate between the options as needed.

Basically, I don't think anyone is more qualified than myself to "get" the big picture of what I need and what's working vs. what isn't. But I do benefit from my Ts making suggestions for things to look into and consider trying, and give feedback as they observe progress. It took me a long time to accept that, though. I really just wanted someone to come in and "see" all of my issues and hand me a customized therapy program that would address everything. That's just not something that's realistic for me, though.

 

[shimmerz]

I will PM you as well hope.

 

[Friday]

About 2 years into this tailspin is when I seriously freaked the f*ck out.

1 year in I realized this wasn't just a bad weekend, or bad week/ month/ etc. that was going to self resolve... and I was going back down the road to chaos Inthought I'd left behind me a decade ago... Fast. So this time I knew where I was headed and sought help. A year into that? (Doctors & therapist). f*ck. Me. It wasn't working, wasn't helping, and I could see myself nose diving. Shit shit shit. Did, however, finally listen to my MFT Therapist (lovely guy) to what he'd been saying for a year; aka I need trauma therapy & to process the past-stuff / not present stuff (retrauma is what kicked this little party off). Okay. Half listened. That it might be PTSD, I had already acknowledged (but I was intent on the current trauma, not past trauma, f*ck that I'd sorted it. Ahem. No. No I hadn't. But my avoidance had 15 years of epic proportions behind it).

But year 2 my whole mission in life was to recompartmentalize. MFT guy kept saying that wouldn't work. I get stubborn.

Insert flailing for the next solid year. No matter how hard I jumped on the damn box it. just. wouldn't. shut. Lotta research, though. And then I found this place. Which made all the rest of my research just drop in the bucket. Also spent most of last year trying to find a trauma therapist. (No dice.). Years 2/3 were seriously busy. Year 2 trying to find help, year 3 just surviving.

I'm now 4 years in. And doing better. Comparatively. Year 3 (last year) was seriously bad. This year (touch wood) I'm coming up. LOL. In a heart monitor shaped incline, but hey. Incline. I'll take that.

Maaaaaaybe if I'd found a trauma therapist in year 2 or 3 I'd be mostly better by now. Shrug. Maybe not.

Have I ever found a doctor or therapist to help? Nope. Am I still doing better? Yep.

Been working my ass off.

I wanted someone to tell me what to do. I wanted a professional to tuck me up under his arm and/or cattle prod me in the right direction. Didn't happen. Had to do it myself. And, while not the fastest or easiest? It is working. Eating, sleep, exercise, connecting with people, moving toward stability, exposure therapy (I've always done that one on my own, it's what drug me up outta my last tailspin / the only thing I knew for sure that worked.), managing stress, baaaaaaby steps (ugh), 1 step forward 2 steps back until it reverses & it's 2 forward & 1 back.

It's a boring list: self care, stabilize, & stress management. A very boring list. I want something else. As far as I know? There isn't anything else. 3S. Just gotta keep working at it.