How do you identify/ define "dissociation" and how do you identify/ define "grounded"

[Hopefulphoenix]

I too think its got many layers..there is of course the total freeze. Where you lose track of time, and for me it hurts like hell to come out of it. Then, I think there is milder versions. Im not sure, and not in therapy right now, but I think I do it alot and I think its got to do with repressing parts of me within me. Not sure how not to do that yet.
The fear, anxiety and constant scanning my surrounds I dont think is me being present. Coz if I was really present i'd be calm, knowing bodily that there are no tigers/monsters/tigermonsters out there.
That would be nice.

 

[shimmerz]

I lose my sense of gender as well. I think for me though that is because that part has no awareness of body as I was too young to have actually gone through the process of successful embodiment.

 

[Deleted member 47099]

So... some more dissociation realisations on the way home today.

I'm currently having "issues" with a colleague at work, who's been behaving badly and disrespectfully and ignoring everyone's boundaries. I called her out on it a few days ago (which she didn't appreciate, lol) and we shouted at each other in the staff kitchen today. :facepalm:

Anyway, driving home, I noticed that I also have a type of dissociation where there's lots of static in my head and something that's a stressor (situation with colleague) will just run through my mind in a sheer endless loop. I guess it could be called ruminating or mulling over, but kind of in a hyper/ obsessed way... Just that situation/ those thoughts looping through my brain at high speed and I can't stop them.

So I actually *noticed* today that it was happening and I *noticed* how weird it was... Usually when it happens, I just assume "well of course I would be thinking about this obsessively - it's cos I'm upset about it!"

But today I really noticed that - hang on, something's weird here - because my brain was just in this weird auto-pilot mode and these thoughts were just spewing out a mile a minute and it was constant loops of this stuff.

So I tried some grounding techniques, but wow - they weren't strong enough, they weren't working at all - thoughts just kept racing round in circles, totally involuntarily.

So I figured, okay, I'll have to ramp the grounding techniques up and get really heavy duty about it - and I did some really heavy focus "thought stop" stuff... Like basically *banned* my brain from going near that topic... At first, my brain would manage about 5 seconds of not-thinking-bout-it and then - woosh - be back on the topic again, so again, I'd be like "STOP NOW" and eventually the gaps of not-thinking-bout-it got longer and longer and I could feel my brain actually starting to calm down again and come out of the dissociation and start being grounded again.

This obsessive-thought-loop about stressors is a type of dissociation I've done countlesssssss times over the decades :facepalm:
I can get stuck in it for hours and hours and hours. :facepalm:

So that was quite a revelation - realising my brain is on auto-pilot - that it's not even noticing my surroundings anymore - or noticing *anything* in life other than the one issue/ stressor that it's fixated on - that I can't feel my body - that I'm shallow breathing...

So that's another type of dissociation I'll be having to watch out for in future! :p

But if I can spot it and do grounding techniques, then that will also spare me a huge amount of distress, so it'll be worth it :)

 

[Deleted member 47099]

I lose my sense of gender as well. I think for me though that is because that part has no awareness of body as I was too young to have actually gone through the process of successful embodiment.

Thanks :)

Cool to know I'm not the only one that experiences this. Somehow it's so much easier if someone says "I get this too" :hug:

 

[Deleted member 47099]

So... here's a question for y'all...

"Parts" are a form of dissociation, right?

So is everytime I'm in "parts mode" (eg inner kid) - is that me dissociating too? :cautious:

If so, I'm wondering how many minutes per day I'm actually not in one type of dissociation or another :facepalm:

 

[Sideways]

Parts" are a form of dissociation, right?

Sometimes.

But for a lot of people, having parts to their personality and being able to engage with those different parts insightfully and thoughtfully in the moment? Is a normal and healthy, grounded way of existing.

 

[Deleted member 47099]

Found another type of dissociation, that I get when I try to sleep at night. I've always had insomnia re feeling anxious about going to sleep.

So, right now, I'm trying to sleep and my brain feels like a fizzy drink... with bubbles of fizz just all through my brain.

I can't go to sleep direct from dissociation.

So my usual pattern is to be in pre-sleep dissociation for so long until I get utterly exhausted from tiredness and *then* I fall asleep :meh:

Trying to cut through the fizzy drink bubbles dissociation right now, but not having much luck so far... Hope I find something that grounds this particular type of dissociation soon... (preferably in the next 30 mins).

 

[TTC18]

:hug:
I vote for chocolate.
(hehe)

 

[Deleted member 47099]

Sometimes.

But for a lot of people, having parts to their personality and being able to engage with those different parts insightfully and thoughtfully in the moment? Is a normal and healthy, grounded way of existing.

But isn't parts by definition a "dissociative disorder" ?

Like the brain pretending the body doesn't exist... that's dissociation.
And the brain pretending it's not one, but several parts, that's technically dissociation too, I think?

Just cos it feels nice/ comfortable, doesn't mean it's not dissociation.
There's lots of pleasant forms of dissociation that can be quite tempting.

:hug:
I vote for chocolate.
(hehe)

:hug:

 

[Friday]

But for a lot of people, having parts to their personality and being able to engage with those different parts insightfully and thoughtfully in the moment? Is a normal and healthy, grounded way of existing.

This.

Also, @Sophy keep in mind that things like staying focused despite distractions, professional distance, & daydreaming? Also fall under disassociation.

It’s not that disassociation all by itself is naturally pathological, maladaptive, or even problematic. In fact, being unable to dissociate at all is just as problematic -if not more- as being on the other end of the spectrum.

When you’re dealing with disassociation it’s a lot more like, say, an eating disorder rather than being addicted to drugs. If you have a drug problem, the solution is to quit using drugs. If you have an eating disorder? You can’t just quit eating ;) Dissassociation is much the same. There’s a very healthy normalish range that one wants to be in.

 

[Sideways]

But isn't parts by definition a "dissociative disorder" ?

Nope. Loads of people have parts and no dissociative disorder.

 

[Hopefulphoenix]

Hmmmm. For me, I got parts. Not ones that take over and are so distinct, but parts of me stuck at different ages inside. I have huge memory loss from when I was a kid, but when I get super triggered I can speak like a little girl and have access to those memories. I also have a teenager.