How do you pull back when you feel ready to give up?

[Susan Jane]

Ok, @SeekingAfrica , this is going to sound a bit brutal, but I'm trying to help you. You have been in the same state for years, and rather than keep a single diary/thread, you consistently post and open multiple threads (I guess)... hoping in some way that this will change something...opening new threads will not help. And has never helped.

We've discussed medication ( I think), and you said you can't get any because of where you live, etc...alot of things you can't get because of where you live, so why don't you leave the country, get a job, save money to leave, get therapy, go to gym, get a hobby?? There are so many things you can do.

Leaving a country…save money…get a hobby . That seems a bit brutal. Maybe you are trying to help, but I think it could have been said in a more supportive way. .

 

[Susan Jane]

I have better things to do than argue with you. We see it differently, big deal. My comments were about helping someone and I stand by them. Please have a great day.

I find your manner, tone and words very unkind. One can also just ignore posts that stress them.

 

[Lost in the Woods]

I am sorry you feel that way. Have a great day.

 

[Susan Jane]

Oh boy. Really did not think this would spark the debate it has. I see both sides of the coin, and I suppose that as someone seeing only the threads I post that could be fair assesment, but that is rarely the full picture.

@Survivor3 I both understand what you are saying an I don't. Am I struggling for a long time? Yes, that is true. Just because I write a lot doesn't mean you have the full picture. As @RainbowSearchParty mentioned, moving isn't as simple as just picking up and leaving. For the record, I had done that, long time ago. I was doing better too, with therapy and life, and it wasn't easy but I was growing a lot. The pandemic happened and the war nearby, and it changed the economy. All those things triggered a trauma I hadn't dealt with and I spiraled. I tried coping but in the wrong ways I suppose. There were great moments and really bad ones, but I didn't understand what I didn't understand yet, so last year I had to come home having failed in my health and in every aspect. Was my life there better even in the worst moments? Yes. I am still trying to go back because it's home. But that takes time.
Also just because I seek advice don't presume I'm doing nothing. Yes, I was at doing nothing for few months at first, losing everything hit hard. But at least since February, I've been planning and tracking and trying to improve things every single week. I just can't afford help, or move at the moment and every single week is hard. So I am allowed to seek support sometimes. Does it change anything? Yes, and no.
I don't have enough support around me since I moved. And sometimes all I can do to give myself hope is talk to someone here or talk to chatGPT. It's not ideal, it's just where I'm at at the moment. Should I rely on others for hope? No, but again, right now I am just consistently taking action and still consistently behind. There is just a lot I'm sorting through, it's a brutal process and the little progress doesn't feel enough compared to the big picture. I'm sorry if this method of coping doesn't seem the best to you. It's the best I can do at this moment. It's all I can do. I've been avoiding the forum for few weeks exactly because I am concentrated on trying, Just trying is impossibly hard on good days sometimes. And on the bad... well, that was yesterday. I'm not saying I'm handling this the right way, but it's also not fair assesment that I'm not taking action. I am doing the best I can do and trying to do more every week. I just having nothing around that sustains me. Hobby sounds great, but I don't earn enough and at some point it felt selfish to leave time for hobby when I can't pay some bills. I know maybe it's a good idea, and I am trying to get back to it.
I swear I am listening to every word and I'm trying to change things. It doesn't happen in a week. In fact, as I said it's been months of trying to turn things around.

Actually I also agree with @parrotthepolly on this.
It's never just black and white. Also 'complaining' sometimes helps me see the bigger picture and find a solution. Second when I was first diagnozed with PTSD and anxiety my anxiety was so severe that I couldn't think or talk about problems until I took medication and suddenly I was capable to do so. And to be fair my problems at the time were a children's play compared to this. I am more capable now, hence why I haven't actually given up.
Also consider that sometimes nurturing works more that tough love. For me it always did anyway.

Thanks everyone. I'm doing the best I can I promise. Just this is a long journey. It takes time. I just needed a little hope and encouragement to keep going. Maybe that wasn't fair. I'm trying to be stronger. I kind of thought the point is that there are some spaces in life where you don't have to be strong so that you can be strong where you should be. I didn't mean this as trying to complain for no reason.

It seems you have a lot going on and from some of the comments, it has been this way for a while. I understand that, and I have been blessed with finding a therapist per telephone that has given me invaluable support. I know how hard it is to find someone who gets it and can help. I don’t know where you live, but perhaps you can search for services that might give you some comfort. Yes it is on us, unfortunately, to unravel the things that got us here. I would try to break things down and see what has to be addressed immediately, basic needs through to what can be done at a later date. The task of getting through it all is daunting. Today for instance, I have been in emotional flashback. It was hell. I spoke to a friend who listened. She doesn’t have mental health issues but is a kind hearted woman. I was able to shower, eat, do laundry and cook something with shaky hands, dizziness and a stomach ache. There are other days when I can’t and days when I feel quite balanced. I have started a learning to accept this as my state at the moment. It is a challenge, I have days where I don’t think I will make it. I try and remind myself that I have lived through everything that happened so far…. and this is a phase, a trance that will pass. Sending my hope that you will be kind to yourself and also try and help yourself in small steps. You are worth it

 

[PlainJane]

Mod Note:

Having differing opinions can be helpful. Keep the thread condusive to the OP's requests and concerns. Quarelling off topic is unhelpful and disruptive.

 

[Survivor3]

Leaving a country…save money…get a hobby . That seems a bit brutal. Maybe you are trying to help, but I think it could have been said in a more supportive way. .

Yes @Susan Jane in hindsight I agree, although the op asked for advice it was too strong and not said in the right way. I apologise @SeekingAfrica. I didn't mean to upset you and hope your OK. I also hope that you can find a way to move forward.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I'm with you, @SeekingAfrica. You have been through a lot and have had a tough time. I have no advice as usual, but I will hang out with you.