How do you stop being so hard on youself?

[ms spock]

Thanks for all the replies - I can almost not settle enough to read them.

I just pick at myself so much and punish myself and doubt myself and really struggling with this at the moment. I am still hanging in there with it all. I really am being brave. But it is not easy. So much stuff is coming up or self sabotage is coming up.

It is an intense process this being a prac teacher - and other people are struggling as well.

My corrosive insecurity and self doubt is a problem at times. But hey I did a little bit better for part of today. I did do some Self Compassion and Radical Acceptance.

Today I made a pass at doing self care - I went for a script after school, got a little massage, then ate dinner out with B's and I's friends and then came home, cried, rang the crisis line and you know will go and do work now. It is messy, but it is still progress.

 

[ms spock]

I am really struggling again with this.

 

[anthony]

DBT provides skills. It does not touch the underlying trauma.

Sorry for the late reply on getting to this... actually, DBT does treat the underlying trauma in combination with the DBT specific skills and structure.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/an-overview-of-dialectical-behavior-therapy/

DBT, agreed, targets the specific regulation issues often found in persons, however, DBT is built to first provide a foundation of regulation, in which the trauma will begin being introduced in order to test and adjust regulation, as well as build upon regulation to sustain a quality existence, then usually after the first or second year, more and more of the underlying trauma will begin coming into the sessions where DBT is constantly applied and progressively tested, whilst the underlying trauma is gradually increased towards the more traumatic memories.

Yes, DBT can be standalone regulation control, then when a person is declared stable enough, the therapist may veer completely to EMDR combined with DBT, or TF-DBT instead of TF-CBT, or PE + DBT or SIT + DBT or any number of trauma treatments / combination of.

DBT is not primarily a trauma treatment, yes... but DBT does treat trauma as it progresses and can be used once stability is reached, being a CBT, to then continue treating the full trauma.

To be perfectly honest, most therapists use a combination of approximately 5 different therapy techniques in every session they hold, and will typically mix trauma techniques also simultaneously.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Are you struggling to self soothe? Remind yourself that you matter and deserve loving kindness. Because that is true you really do matter. Oh, it's too often we slip back into the mayonnaise jar, I know, and I'm sorry this spell is taking so long to banish. It's coming on winter where you live, right? Does that trigger anything? I have seasonal affectiveness disorder and it's a bitch getting through winter.

 

[ms spock]

I am struggling to self soothe. Yes I am struggling with that.

 

[ms spock]

I think that actually I am not doing self soothing - that I do it for a minute or two and then I actually don't get going with it and I slip into anxiety. I think that is what I am doing. I am not doing self soothing, self compassion or anything like that. I did do some Mindfulness this morning - it was hard.

 

[KwanYingirl]

If you had a friend who is struggling, would you be hard on the? Or tell the, just forget about it? Probably not. You are a generous leader and take to heart the challenges your friends have. I'm sure you would be their cheerleader and kindly help them out. So practice all that you give others on yourself.

Anxiety hijacks me. It keeps me in emotional mind and that doesn't feel good. Then I just get entrenched in it and then days go by and each day I feel worse. Until I practice mindfulness and stay in the present moment I can't do my rescue breathing.

 

[ms spock]

I am really struggling with this - I am more aware of caning myself now. So that, at least, is progress.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Where do you feel the struggle, Ms Spock?

 

[ms spock]

Kind of in my head in a dissociated way - yes in my imagination actually - I have this story running in my head - and it is a constant struggle.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Can you think of anything you've done in the past to ease this tension? I hate to sound like a broken record. I feel your pain. I've been pretty stable for a couple of months and for the life of me, I don't know how I got here. I've cut down on therapy. It's been a nice vacation from dwelling on my story. I'll always be grateful that you introduced me to Tara Brach. I binge watch her. The self compassion work we did retooled me too. Trying to sleep better. I'm so sorry you are struggling.

 

[ms spock]

Thanks for your questions and reframing @KwanYingirl! It is appreciated. A few members have been taking the time to question me and give their input to me. I do appreciate it.

I with think on it.