How do you stop being so hard on youself?

[Deleted member 12723]

I have been under so much stress and I really have been hard on me recently. I need to practice compassion for me. I spend too much time in my head and it has not been a good place for a while now.

 

[cupfish]

Yes, getting out of your own head is key. Lots of thinking time does not work for me. I wish my hubby got this part, that the outside world is more functional than the space between our ears (we are both CPTSD). This requires trusting that the world is more stable than our coping mechanisms.

 

[ladee]

Being in my head is not a bad thing if I am problem solving.
After yet another blindsided verbal attack from my son, I was so proud how quickly I caught myself going to the old messages of being worthLESS.
Went straight to Cognitive Disortions...journaled..and was back in my happy place that I have been in since doing the work to let go of guilt. Progress..ya uh huh..progress!

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear @ladee , :hug: :tup: . Kindnesses to you. XOX

This requires trusting that the world is more stable than our coping mechanisms.

Wow @cupfish . That is an incredibly, hugely wise and perceptive statement. ^^^

I woke up thinking of something oddly positive about how/ what the journey might include.. wrote it down or I would have forgotten though I thought I wouldn't. Then later this a.m. heard something that builds upon it (& yes, is 'out of (my) head").

I think I feel, too, guilty (and ashamed, too) for my inadequacies, even if from ptsd, and guilty too for what I need.

 

[ladee]

I'm sorry @Junebug, wish I could send you some of my stubbornness. Gentle hugs to you.

 

[Tinyflame]

Thank you @ladee you are very sweet. :inlove: :hug::hug::hug:

 

[ms spock]

I used: http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/crisis_survival_video_text.html
For the crisis survival skills and the radicle acceptance.

Thanks for this!

 

[ms spock]

I am at the practice stage of this one, and it takes a fair bit of focus, for me, at this time!

 

[cupfish]

I am at the practice stage of this one, and it takes a fair bit of focus, for me, at this ti...

Good for you! Once we understand that we are "sick in the head," and it manifests as a broken fight/flight response, you can accept that your brain lies all the time about perceived threats.

 

[ms spock]

I got a great suggestion! Practising affirming the decisions that I do make each day at the moment, and it is helping! I am encouraging myself! I have done so much already this morning!

 

[ms spock]

Practice, practice, practice and more practice!

 

[Ronin]

'How do you'

Kids or dear friends.
Would I treat them the same? No. I wouldn't. Because it's pointless, or cruel, or not suitable to the situation, or with better alternatives getting the same result, or, or, or.

When I remember that. The other times I just try to get through the day. Leave myself notes it's Things To Ponder and work on later.