I have made substantial progress in not being as hard on myself as I once was, I have really improved. I have to do lots of busting down of distorted thinking, and many, many repeated Self Compassion Breaks, those three steps are very useful for me to get me out of rumination.
This is a significant impediment to my next round of changes and personal growth so I need to do more around this, a lot more around this, because unwittingly I am slipping into self hatred, and self harshness.
Things are changing for me so much! It is a shock to be so much more here. It is a shock how small a meal portion is. It is a shock to feel feelings in real time. Everything is new and different.
So I am back to taking layers off this one again, and you know I am feeling tired of it, but it is a really important one to get hold of, if I want to have a life. On the other hand I didn't sleep last night so it is not surprising I am feeling lacklustre at the moment.
I am also not in a food coma so I am feeling my feelings, and they are not too bad really, but pretty uncomfortable, annoying, and I feel cranky! I feel so cranky! There are also times in which I feel pretty angry! My partner is being pretty wussy and leaving so much stuff to me, and I feel frustrated about that.
I am also tapering off my medication, under medical supervision, yet again, but this time I am managing to go with it. I am now down to 50mg. So given how high I was on my medications, this is an epic achievement, and such an epic journey.