How Do You Word It To Your Employer

[asadafagahajakal]

I've got a long track record of not keeping a job. Basically before the end of probation I just know they're going to let me go, always due to incompetence. Lack of focus, that one pissed off customer that wants to speak to the manager (despite being pretty good with almost all customers) or I have to ask more than once about something because I can't retain a damn thing some days.

So one employer asked my why I had such a spotty resume, I had no idea what to say. Well I did, but I figured talking about the reasons would just get me fired sooner. So I just made up a pathetic, and likely unbelievable excuse because i was too ashamed that the only jobs available were just too stressful for me. Needless to say I still got fired because since it was a convenience store where a lot of intoxicated people frequented, I was stressed out, agitated, and there's no way I can possibly retain knowledge in an environment I don't feel safe in.

So I realized, maybe I should be honest, but at the same time I'm not obligated to straight up tell them I got ptsd. but maybe I can word it differently so they won't be inclined to ask invasive questions? Like "where did you serve?" Well I'm to young to be a vet so don't ask. Then you get mocked from then on. Or people just start poking in your business because your boss spilled the beans.

So what ways have you talked to your boss regarding your mental health? Like a way that helps preserve your dignity as a human being and protects you from discrimination and harassment?

 

[J'qel]

I wish I could suggest to you, but I'm unemployed and my spouse is my supporter. I feel it's hard to talk about my issue because my abuser is/was part of the community I'm in.

I do think you should be honest, partly because you're canadian and discriminating against you for PTSD is illegal. Partly because you're canadian and solidarity, eh!

I don't think somewhere where you're dealing with aggressive drunks is the best choice, perhaps you can look into employment counselling or retraining programs? My husband went into one and it's made quite a difference for him. From what I understand, every province and territory has them.

Failing that, talk to your provincial mental health authorities, they'll have resources you can make use of for finding gainful employment. We're lucky, our country has a lot of stuff to help, we just have to know where to ask.

Much canadian fellowship and hopes you have a better time of it <3

 

[asadafagahajakal]

Yeah I've been fired before under false accusations and also for identifying as a gender queer. All it takes is for the boss to word their reasons very carefully and they can get away with anything.

But I talked to one government worker before and got three courses and certifications for free, including first aid and pro serve, which always looks good on a resume. I always go to an alberta works to look for grants and upcoming courses.

But I only started going to a therapist again last month. I'll be sure to ask about more work resources next time. Thanks!

 

[Micha Coyle]

I've got a long track record of not keeping a job. Basically before the end of probation I just know th...

Don't tell them.. I know it seems very bad to say that. However when I did tell an employer about this, I was severely nonchalantly bullied. My scenario was not for an interview but already being hired and finding out last year. I thought they would be more understanding (hey these people care for you right?), I was completely humiliated non the less. I told them the pressure needed to cease a bit.. got tons more added on and in a hurrying environment. Technically I wouldn't of ever had a case though due to the fact of this was very vindictive. I've noticed however if you say you quit for personal reasons, they just dig. I always just say that I knew it was time for me to go due to my place in the company just wasnt for me. I wanted to advance my opportunities. Which technically I do, but they don't need to know my stress was so bad it landed me in the er which is why I had enough..

 

[Esterio]

Thanks for the post Charleh Not sure how anyone can work with ptsd I know I failed all the way. When I was first diagnosed I was my own boss had a company with 12 employee's and I had another 20 contract workers. By the time I was Diagnosed my business was starting to fail' not long after it did fail. i work a couple of times again own my own everything paid as piece work with which I worked most of my life. I couldn't work hard enough to make a living or for that mater survive. Since then I have never been treated so bad from employers in my life. I was used to people catering to me if they wanted me to work for them. they were good to me and i was good for them. I got $1000.00 bonuses taken fishing for 2 weeks in Cabo. Not getting stolen from on a minimum wage job and treated like shit. My doctor told me to stop trying to go work. I was on disability already but it would have been nice to have more money and get a volunteer position then if i didn't feel like going I could just stay home. i continued to volunteer for 6 years and they were happy I was there. Now the volunteer positions gone. I'm still hoping to get at least one back.
Employers are terrible to broken employee's. I hope you find a meaningful Job that you are capable of. If not its not the end of the world Volunteering for me was better than any minimum wage job. I was happy helping out and people were glad to see me :-)

 

[Chiqui]

Not sure how anyone can work with ptsd

Me neither. I can't...:(

 

[Deleted member 33052]

I'm late to the party, as usual. Charleh, did you get to see an employment counsellor? How's your work situation now? I know that the job market in Alberta is pretty tight nowadays.

It's true that you can't be fired due to a disability, but employers are pretty good at coming up with ways to make you feel like you've outlasted your usefulness. I've been lucky enough to work in the public sector, which tends to try to accommodate employees with disabilities.

I hope things have improved for you...

 

[Beemo3780]

I'm not sure what the reasoning would be to tell your employer you have PTSD. I never have discussed any of my health issues with my employers, and in addition to PTSD I have a heart condition. I've been with the same company for going on 9 years now, and never had an issue, I also have a professional career. I already have enough to deal with dealing with my male coworkers waiting for the woman in the office screwing up, so I'm definitely not going to give them more reason to think I'm not capable of doing my job.

I've had panic attacks at work, I excuse myself and hide in the bathroom until I can function around other people. No one that I work with knows really anything about me personally except I have a daughter and a husband and 2 dogs.

I once had a boss when I was first starting out in my career. She was very career driven. She was in her early 40s, looked so well put together, always had the best designer clothes, great hair and makeup. I had an incident while I was trying to divorce my ex husband where he beat me pretty badly and I could not go into work because my face looked like raw meat. I had to tell her something obviously, and turned out she had to divorce a violent man and she could tell all the warning signs with me. She was very understanding, and I could not thank her more, but she was never easy on me. She let me take a week off and she wouldn't tell anyone what I was going through, but she told me that I would lose my job and career if I didn't stay strong and get through everything. Never let anyone think I was weak, and don't let my personal life affect my job. I follow all her advice to this day and it has helped immensely. A lot of my other coworkers didn't like her much, but I thought she was the best boss I've ever had.

 

[Freedomfighter]

I've got a long track record of not keeping a job. Basically before the end of probation I just know th...

Have noticed more and more that a lot of workers have to deal with people that are strung out on drugs. Had a druggie customer like that the other day, got belligerent with me, extremely aggressive, lied about my performance and proceeded to shout at me after I attempted to remove myself from his loud abuse. Had that story gotten to the manager I would have been fired, because as a worker we have no standing, the worker has to crawl into the customer's ass. Crass wording, but the truth.

I have noticed more and more people who are either drunk when they get into our store or high on drugs, they behave like they are in a bar, and the customer would not suffer, it would be always the worker that would be fired.

That knowledge would propel me to not seek a job but to go into an environment where only I have the control of my own working situation, i.e., into my own business world as a business owner.

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

One thing I've learned from employment, you do NOT disclose anything except to your doctor or therapist. The reason? Too much negative backlash and, if you live in an at-will state, they can fire you for no reason but USE that reason to get rid of you. They'll think you're a nut...blah blah blah. I let people know at work and they went around me because they thought I was a powder keg ready to explode.
I remember there was an account manager who was there for two days. She came to me for something and gave me a snarky attitude. I stood up and asked her, "Have you been in government as long as I have? Unless you have, you don't know how government or I work." I scared the woman so badly she went to HR and I got talked to. I plainly said, "Unless you've worked in government as long as I have, and you haven't....don't come at me with a "God's Gift to Politics" attitude. I've played this game so checkmate."

 

[physicist13]

I've got a long track record of not keeping a job. Basically before the end of probation I just know th...

I would never tell my boss about my PTSD. I make sure to keep all things that could be a negative (PTSD, bisexual, dyslexic, etc.) on the DL because I know at the end of the day it can only work against me. Since I'm young and thus not doing highly specialized work, I know that they could always find someone else without my issues.
Plus I find I am better at acting normal (/temporarily suppressing symptoms) when I am around people who don't know me or my history of trauma.

 

[Freedomfighter]

I've got a long track record of not keeping a job. Basically before the end of probation I just know th...

Well, I have PTSD and every day I watch managers that pretend they are leaders (while they dilly around with useless females and force abortions onto them because they are too stupid to understand birth control) and just make up stuff as they go along. I watch the big bosses put on sharades all day, forcing workers to work in ways that dont make sense. I see so many nutjob customers every day Iam convinced that there must be a mental institution real close by. And I watch tramps from the street business every day shopping at my place of work too, not to mention ugly big pimps who also frequent our store. Our pretend managers want to force us to treat that human garbage nicely. To talk with any of these loosers about my health would be a waste of time.