Other How many of us have agoraphobia?

[Grama-Herc]

I don't want this to be come a poll, but I am wondering just exactly how many of us reaslly do have this problem and is it a part of our over all condition.

In my world I only go out when I have NO choice. That is always when mom is in need of food or a ride to doc, lab, etc. I have to force myself to go out on my own for even the slightest thing.

I have not been to a movie since about, oh, the early 80's! I can only go to 1 resturant and then only with Mother. I am 60. I should be able to go out to eat on my own like a big girl. Dating is out of the question. Have not had a date since 1992. Hard to meet peole when you never go out to where people can be found.

Going to the grocery store causes real physical problems. I can look rather frightening to others when I stand in the check out line sweating profusely. I mean sweat dripping off my chin! The longer the line, the wetter I become. I mean so wet that my hair looks like I just got out of the shower. It takes me 2 days to recover from this type of outing.

Do the rest of you suffer from this type of phobia or fear?
I would be interested to see just who is affected or at least if this is just another symptom?

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[Seeking_Nirvana]

I prefer to stay in the house most of the time, but in the summer I like to go outside. I don't care for big crowds, but I love the water park so much I go anyway.

I don't think I have it, but I have some symptoms of it.

PS I think it may be called agoraphobia though?

Tammy

 

[Deleted member 93]

I very much think it is just another symptom of PTSD. Not an issue before PTSD made me crash. But yeah, I have collapsed before at the store and had to be put in one of those motorized buggies simply because I was so dizzy and could not walk at all, but I was hell bent on pushing through it. I have since learned from experience I cannot go overkill and push that hard. I have to take very tiny baby steps. Like midnight walks in my tiny town at the HS track. But part of my new year resolution is try to get out once a week since I have been going to bed too early for those walks lately. I do not drive and doubt I will do it alone, but with hubs, and that is still a lot more than I even get close to doing now. I get sick for days after going out.

 

[Sherlock]

I feel safe in crowds, I feel that no one will hurt me with so many people around me, that they will protect me. I once was saved by a crowd of strangers during an assault by strangers, my 'friends' didn't help me. Also I tend to cross the border to Belgium when I'm stressed out, I feel safe in foreign crowds. My trauma's were mostly caused by family and 'friends'.

 

[Marlene]

If I don't make myself do things, I find the desire to stay home and not leave goes up. It also goes up with my stress levels. Sometimes the hardest thing I do during the day is to walk out the front door to go to work. I enjoy fencing quite a bit and look forward to it during the week, but sometimes making myself go to my class is so damned hard.

I never had anything remotely close to this prior to the PTSD. I've found that it's one of the things I've worked hardest on. There are times I want to do more with my life but it's become one of those things I have to really work hard to get to the point I can even think about it without my mind hitting that big red FEAR button. Like veiled said, I want to muscle my way through something (like I used to), but I know that's the quickest way to knock myself on my ass. So it's back to baby steps for change.

Lisa

 

[Kathy]

Evie is away at the moment Herc, however I wanted to add briefly that this is something she also struggles with. It is one of her most trying symptoms, and the main reason she cannot hold down a job (excepting a work from home job) nor go to school at the moment. When she was living on her own, she would only leave her apartment when absolutely necessary, about once a month. She is faring better now that she lives with us, as we have been encouraging her. She does get out now, mostly with family members accompanying her, however she has surprised us by going out alone on occasion now too. She has made some huge improvements however as Lisa says, baby steps are important. She "crashes" very hard if she tries to do too much.

I will now shut up so she has something left to share when she returns! :wink:

 

[baileysemt]

My inability to leave the house gets worse as my PTSD gets worse. It is directly proportional.

When I was deep in the throes of untreated, raving, overwhelming PTSD, I was not able to leave my home during the day. The grocery store was HELL... tried it a couple of times, then usually raided my Mom's fridge and pantry, and snuck back home under the cover of darkness. I only left the house 1-2x/week and it was during the night, when nobody was awake or about in my tiny town. (*whew*) I could not stand to be seen during daylight by anybody (including total strangers) ... could not even risk having someone glance at me between my front door and the car door (what, 10 feet?).

The better I've gotten PTSD-wise, the more my agoraphobic symptoms have lessened.

I am still uncomfortable leaving the house to go into an "uncontrolled" environment (grocery store, public parking lot, library, etc.) but I am okay driving the 12 miles to my Mom's, and I am perfectly A-OK @ her house. I figure the drive is okay because I am whisking away from whatever "threats" are out there (including people who look at me). :)

I feel rather disconnected from everyone and the happenings at the grocery store; I feel my own emotions, and I observe the things going on around me, but I don't feel "plugged-in" to the surroundings at the store. The things going on seem kind of alien and unpredictable to me, which feels uncomfortable to me. I just go in, grab what I need, and get out. I don't hang out and it's not a social event. I am not in control of other people (especially people I don't know) therefore I do not want to be around them. No control = high risk, in my brain.

On PTSD days (when I backslide/have a bad cycle like we all do) I can't leave the house. Even still. Can't even go near the front door, let alone look out the peep hole. I am terribly afraid of the front door, those days. I stay away from the windows, I don't want anyone to see me under any cost.

Note I am not using the "agoraphobic" label as a diagnosis of a condition, rather I am using it as a label to describe the set of symptoms which is most common with the illness, e.g., extreme fear at leaving the house.

Bailey

 

[Grama-Herc]

Bailey

It is interesting that you feel safe in your car! I feel the same. I can drive anywhere I want--when I can get out the door LOL! Then there is the issue of getting out of the car at my destination! I have recently had the urge to just get in the car and drive. No special destination, just drive, and drive and drive!

However, I have learned from past experiences before diagnosis and good meds that I make very poor decisions and act without thinking. Going for a l-o-n-g drive is just not a good idea for me. I would love to drive to Key West. Not smart. IF I got down there I probably would want to stay. No plan, no money, nothing!
See poor decision making skills.

Just the way my mind and my thinking process works. I not only make very poor decisions, and I also make snap decisions. I think that is 1 very big reason my agoraphobia symptoms increase every time I am required to leave the house. I am afaraid of what ridiculous decision I might make. But that issue is another long story

 

[becvan]

Bailey

It is interesting that you feel safe in your car! I feel the same. I can drive anywhere I want--when I can get out the door LOL! Then there is the issue of getting out of the car at my destination! I have recently had the urge to just get in the car and drive. No special destination, just drive, and drive and drive!

Herc, it's funny that you mention this. This is how I began my baby steps to get out of the house. I still drive around in a circle and come home, but I try to have some place I actually go to and get out and go into too.

I think agoraphobia is very common with us. Just another aspect of PTSD.

My son also suffers from it severely. If not for school he just wouldn't leave the house!

bec

 

[Kathy]

All of your comments regarding feeling safer in the car are most interesting! This is Evie once again. She feels much safer in her car, ventures out far more if she can go in her car. That is yet another aspect which I mistakenly thought was specific to Evie. I am learning something new everyday from this forum, thank you all for sharing!

 

[morgan]

This is what my main struggle about is right now. My therapist wants me to start a social life but, I can't seem to muster the courage enough to go anywhere. Every couple of weeks I go to the store on the way home from my therapy appointments and that is a struggle all by itself. When I take my dog to the groomers sometimes she tries to have a conversation with me and I freeze up. All I can think about is getting the f--k out of there and back home to the safety of mommy and daddy where I can hide away from the rest of the world. How the hell do you start a social life when you can't even have a brief conversation with someone? I feel really stuck on this subject. I'm a little relieved to see that I'm not the only one. I guess it's my PTSD but, I've had PTSD for a long time. This fear of people to this extent has only been for the last two years, (since my last few traumas). I guess I figured enough was enough huh?
Sorry if I rambled a bit. This thread really hit home for me.
Morgan

 

[Marlene]

I feel very safe in my car, too. I never thought about it until I read what others wrote. I guess it's because I'm enclosed in 'my space' and I can go anywhere I want as long as I'm enclosed in my safe bubble, AKA my car.

One thing that's not open for debate is that once we are all (whomever 'all' is) are in the car, the doors get locked. No ifs, ands or buts! My kids joke that we're now safe from the '70 mil per hour bandits', but they lock their doors automatically now. It helps me to feel safe.

Lisa