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How open with others are you about your PTSD?
- Post starter Kubash16
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Friday
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I don’t tell anyone, as a rule. There are very few exceptions to that rule.
I lean towards being very open.
1. My default is telling most people about my diagnosis unless I don't like them. The main people that I wouldn't tell are extended family members that I don't have a good relationship with. I'll totally tell a stranger that seems nice if it comes up in conversation, though.
2. I do this much less. It takes a lot of energy, and I usually don't think it's worth it for a stranger or aquaintance. With my trauma, there are people involved that I wouldn't want people to have a bad opinion of, so I don't tell people that have a relationship with both of us. For someone that I don't know well, I might give a one or two sentance description of my trauma.
3. I haven't really been in this position yet, so I'm not sure. I was living in a different city during the time period between the trauma and when I was diagnosed.
Facebook is a little different for me, because I don't share much of anything personal on there. Nothing goes on my Facebook that I wouldn't be okay with everyone knowing. I usually picture a guy that's harrassed me on the bus and ask myself if I'd be okay with him having this information. For me, that means that I'd share my diagnosis, but I would not speak about my trauma or go into details about my symptoms.
Probably the one thing that accounts for most of my Facebook activity is sharing stuff from local mental health advocacy groups.
1. My default is telling most people about my diagnosis unless I don't like them. The main people that I wouldn't tell are extended family members that I don't have a good relationship with. I'll totally tell a stranger that seems nice if it comes up in conversation, though.
2. I do this much less. It takes a lot of energy, and I usually don't think it's worth it for a stranger or aquaintance. With my trauma, there are people involved that I wouldn't want people to have a bad opinion of, so I don't tell people that have a relationship with both of us. For someone that I don't know well, I might give a one or two sentance description of my trauma.
3. I haven't really been in this position yet, so I'm not sure. I was living in a different city during the time period between the trauma and when I was diagnosed.
Facebook is a little different for me, because I don't share much of anything personal on there. Nothing goes on my Facebook that I wouldn't be okay with everyone knowing. I usually picture a guy that's harrassed me on the bus and ask myself if I'd be okay with him having this information. For me, that means that I'd share my diagnosis, but I would not speak about my trauma or go into details about my symptoms.
Probably the one thing that accounts for most of my Facebook activity is sharing stuff from local mental health advocacy groups.
EveHarrington
VIP Member
Yes and no.
Surviving is by faaaaaar more important than challenging societal stigma.
The repercussions of coming out are very real and can possibly cause a lot of damage to our lives.
I think it’s best to be selective in who we tell.
frogthroat
Diamond Member
I was diagnosed at 14. I went through a long stint of no care and I guess you could say I was "re-diagnosed" at 30.
I don't talk about it. I just don't think it's necessary for people to know my personal business. Plus, there's still so many people who don't take mental health issues seriously. Don't get me started on the people who say they PTSD from a break-up or the election etc.
I got taken to the hospital from work which was extremely embarrassing and my boss had to know something. He actually told me about how he similar experience and was hospitalized. He's been really great about it. That's been my only positive outcome with people knowing about PTSD. Sadly, so many people think you want attention or you're a froot loop.
I don't talk about it. I just don't think it's necessary for people to know my personal business. Plus, there's still so many people who don't take mental health issues seriously. Don't get me started on the people who say they PTSD from a break-up or the election etc.
I got taken to the hospital from work which was extremely embarrassing and my boss had to know something. He actually told me about how he similar experience and was hospitalized. He's been really great about it. That's been my only positive outcome with people knowing about PTSD. Sadly, so many people think you want attention or you're a froot loop.
ms spock
VIP Member
Don't put it on Facebook. That is really dangerous in my opinion.
If you want to be honest and open with people - do it with people face to face. That way you can see their reactions and respond in real time either not revealing more or revealing as much as you feel comfortable.
I know someone who gets paid a lot of money as their job and goes through people's social media as a routine check before employment interviews occur. It could stop you from getting jobs in the future. Someone with great qualifications with a disability and someone with great qualifications without a disability? Guess who they are going to pick? And as long as they are smart enough not to write down the real reasons you don't have any recourse.
What if you want to get a loan for a car? What if the Credit people hire someone to go through your social media? What if you want to get a loan for a house in a decade and you find out that your mental health status at this time adversely impacted your loan application?
If there was public knowledge of my PTSD, Complex Trauma, Depression and Anxiety etc I would not be getting the jobs that I am getting now, that is for sure. I manage my private business privately. That is actually part of being an adult. That is dealing with your stuff in an adult manner without having to make a song and dance about it with everyone.
I don't use my new phone to come on this forum, so at my new work places if someone uses my phone they won't ever accidentally get to see MyPTSD forum. I am being very careful.
I made a mistake and let a woman use my computer at home whilst it still has the MyPTSD tab still up and she immediately presumed that I had it, and it did change her attitude to me. I have that relationship quarantined from my other friendships and professional relationships in the area. But if she had contact with places I am getting jobs through, and she said something it could have had an impact.
My two cents is that you don't put anything on social media, or in film, videos, on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, on messages boards, vlogs, blogs, forums or anywhere else because it can be used against you later on. You can put out information with good intentions but you can't control what other people do with that information. If you have not happy with absolutely everyone in your current life or future life reading about it then my rule of thumb is not to put it out there. You could lose the contact of your nieces and nephews, so that is something to think about.
People can use it to say you are "over reacting" to sexual harrassment, bullying in the work place, family dynamics, gaslighting or anything else that they are involved with.
Once it is out on the Internet, even if you close your Facebook account down, it is out there and can be found.
What you think and feel about something now will be very different in 10 years or 20 years or 30 years. You may come to a point in your life where you don't want to talk about any of it anymore.
I was offered to do films about my life when I was 15 but I decided not to because I didn't know how it would come across or how it would come back later to me.
Honesty is for therapy, and friendships and relationships that you have spent years building up. Brene Brown writes about not over trusting other people. That that can be unhelpful or even dangerous at times.
Sexual predators use Facebook as well. If you put out stuff that shows you have been victimised in the past, then you potentially set yourself up for the future. Someone with a mental health diagnosis is not taken as seriously in the courts as someone who is not. Just like prostitutes who are raped there will be implications. Don't set yourself up to be preyed upon.
Say you get a job with a bully in your workplace. They look up your social media and they have all this fabulous ammunition to use against you? Say they use it as a way to further bully you, stop you getting promotions, tell people your "reactions" are from your PTSD, and you have had these problems for many years.
Say you get a job with someone with borderline personality, or narcissism or sociopathy or psychopathy? Well you are ripe for the picking then.
I have been involved in challenging social stigma in many, many ways in my life, talking at conferences, on radio, and in print so as to keep my identity more private. Not totally private but more private. I have been involved in many organisations, social programs and campaigns to break down stigma, but I didn't have to put myself out there to be potentially done over.
If you want to be honest and open with people - do it with people face to face. That way you can see their reactions and respond in real time either not revealing more or revealing as much as you feel comfortable.
I know someone who gets paid a lot of money as their job and goes through people's social media as a routine check before employment interviews occur. It could stop you from getting jobs in the future. Someone with great qualifications with a disability and someone with great qualifications without a disability? Guess who they are going to pick? And as long as they are smart enough not to write down the real reasons you don't have any recourse.
What if you want to get a loan for a car? What if the Credit people hire someone to go through your social media? What if you want to get a loan for a house in a decade and you find out that your mental health status at this time adversely impacted your loan application?
If there was public knowledge of my PTSD, Complex Trauma, Depression and Anxiety etc I would not be getting the jobs that I am getting now, that is for sure. I manage my private business privately. That is actually part of being an adult. That is dealing with your stuff in an adult manner without having to make a song and dance about it with everyone.
I don't use my new phone to come on this forum, so at my new work places if someone uses my phone they won't ever accidentally get to see MyPTSD forum. I am being very careful.
I made a mistake and let a woman use my computer at home whilst it still has the MyPTSD tab still up and she immediately presumed that I had it, and it did change her attitude to me. I have that relationship quarantined from my other friendships and professional relationships in the area. But if she had contact with places I am getting jobs through, and she said something it could have had an impact.
My two cents is that you don't put anything on social media, or in film, videos, on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, on messages boards, vlogs, blogs, forums or anywhere else because it can be used against you later on. You can put out information with good intentions but you can't control what other people do with that information. If you have not happy with absolutely everyone in your current life or future life reading about it then my rule of thumb is not to put it out there. You could lose the contact of your nieces and nephews, so that is something to think about.
People can use it to say you are "over reacting" to sexual harrassment, bullying in the work place, family dynamics, gaslighting or anything else that they are involved with.
Once it is out on the Internet, even if you close your Facebook account down, it is out there and can be found.
What you think and feel about something now will be very different in 10 years or 20 years or 30 years. You may come to a point in your life where you don't want to talk about any of it anymore.
I was offered to do films about my life when I was 15 but I decided not to because I didn't know how it would come across or how it would come back later to me.
Honesty is for therapy, and friendships and relationships that you have spent years building up. Brene Brown writes about not over trusting other people. That that can be unhelpful or even dangerous at times.
Sexual predators use Facebook as well. If you put out stuff that shows you have been victimised in the past, then you potentially set yourself up for the future. Someone with a mental health diagnosis is not taken as seriously in the courts as someone who is not. Just like prostitutes who are raped there will be implications. Don't set yourself up to be preyed upon.
Say you get a job with a bully in your workplace. They look up your social media and they have all this fabulous ammunition to use against you? Say they use it as a way to further bully you, stop you getting promotions, tell people your "reactions" are from your PTSD, and you have had these problems for many years.
Say you get a job with someone with borderline personality, or narcissism or sociopathy or psychopathy? Well you are ripe for the picking then.
I have been involved in challenging social stigma in many, many ways in my life, talking at conferences, on radio, and in print so as to keep my identity more private. Not totally private but more private. I have been involved in many organisations, social programs and campaigns to break down stigma, but I didn't have to put myself out there to be potentially done over.
Last edited:
Friday
Sponsor
Ditto... that’s absolutely standard practice, here, as part of the most basic background check. Answers most of the questions employers aren’t legally allowed to ask, and is perfectly legal, as you’ve published it yourself for the world to read. Requiring access to private social media accounts is still someone iffy / is making its way through the court systems about whether or not employers are allowed to require full access (be friended) to your accounts. So far as I know the answer is sometimes yes / sometimes no.
OMG I know, right?
I haven't even told myself about it...
I have very little contact with other people, but if I find that it is necessary to explain some of my behaviors, I will do so - without mentioning why that is so. I don't think they really need that information; the important thing (for me) is that they respect (if not accept) that I have certain needs.
When I was younger I was diagnosed with ADD (attention deficit disorder). I was relieved as I thought it made sense. What I found was, that when I told co-workers, they went "ohhhh" (with raised eye brows and a vague smile), momentarily looking like it also made sense to them. But it really didn't. They still questioned why I couldn't do things the way they did. I realized that the diagnosis in and off it self did not explain anything or make my behavior any easier to understand.
I have very little contact with other people, but if I find that it is necessary to explain some of my behaviors, I will do so - without mentioning why that is so. I don't think they really need that information; the important thing (for me) is that they respect (if not accept) that I have certain needs.
When I was younger I was diagnosed with ADD (attention deficit disorder). I was relieved as I thought it made sense. What I found was, that when I told co-workers, they went "ohhhh" (with raised eye brows and a vague smile), momentarily looking like it also made sense to them. But it really didn't. They still questioned why I couldn't do things the way they did. I realized that the diagnosis in and off it self did not explain anything or make my behavior any easier to understand.
D
Deleted member 47099
Oooh yeah. Just cos someone understands "the words" or "the concept" - doesn't necessarily translate to every day life AT ALL.
Can do, doesn't have to tho.
- Post starter
- #24
Kubash16
VIP Member
See all this talk has me wondering something now. I had a kinda blowout with a supervisor last week where I got pulled out of a possible promotion and I thought I was about to be fired. I was thinking about it and I couldn’t think of any motivation she would have, I haven’t done anything to her. But a couple weeks prior I did talk to her about having PTSD from multiple rapes and needing to go to the restroom sometimes to calm some anxiety because at that point I was a having a really really tough time. She seemed super understanding, but I’m historically terrible at reading people.
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