Childhood How Possible Is It That I Forgot Childhood Memories?

[bonanno]

When I was 6, a guy took me in he room and said 'let's play a game.' He shut off the lights and all I remember is me laying on the floor and he was on top of me, dry humping me. Then it goes all blurry and I just remember leaving the room feeling absolute terror and confusion.
The thing is, this person was kinda like my babysitter. When we visit the family friend it would be him I would go and 'play' with . Like he'd say 'let's play a game.' I remember that phrase, I believe I heard it more than once, it's a distant feeling. I remember I was with him often but I don't recall anything. I just remembered that one memory 10 years after... 7 months ago
I remember this one little memory, it's not even a memory but like an image of the lights going off in the basement. But I'm not sure if i was playing game with my sister and her friend... He also had photos of little girls who were around 5-8 in bikinis in his room.

How possible is it that more happened than I remember? For all I know he could've penetrated me or made me do stuff to him that one memory because I only remember when it first began when the lights went out, and the ending of me leaving the room. I feel like more could've happened but at the same time I feel like it's hard to believe... is memory suppression common? Can I even forget if super bad stuff happened?

 

[Gs172003]

When I was 6, a guy took me in he room and said 'let's play a game.' He shut off the lights and all I r...

Yes. According to my therapist that is very common.

 

[clouds]

you know I was sexually abused by a baby sitter family friend when was about 5 along with sister and a neighbour girl. when we went to court they spoke about it and I found out recently as I haven't really spoken to family about it ever since it 'came out' anyway in court o said "I don't remember anything and I won't say anything" i remember a couple specific situations very vividly but not the abuse itself just hiding as well as i could because i didnt like what he did to me, playing "hide and seek " while he was touching his dick in the kitchen for example. few mo ths ago (now 20) i brought it up and sister said he raped us in the ass but my memory goes as far as standing on a shelve naked with my back to him. I think its just a coping mechanism. and just now I started to wonder whether I kept the secret in court or genuinely didn't remember.
You're not the only one x

 

[PointlessExistence]

The worse the trauma, the more likely you'd suppress it. The "super bad" stuff is the most likely to be forgotten.

 

[clouds]

yes same thing happened after my attempted rape half a year ago took me a while remember the event itself for a while. definitely a coping mechanism even my mom kept mentioning it.
haha #life sucks but its okayish

 

[8888]

Sometimes the brain forgets trauma to protect itself. It's possible more could have happened but it hard to know.

P.S.- My abuser also said "let's play a game". Creepy idiot abusers.

 

[EveHarrington]

Memory suppression is common. But also, our minds don't store every single bit of info about anything, right? For example, you don't remember every time you went out to play with your friends as a kid, right? Just because something is "significant" or we think it is, that doesn't mean we will remember it. Memory doesn't work that way. It doesn't mean that there is suppression per se, rather it could be a normal function of memory.

 

[clouds]

I know it gets more interesting the more you look into it with reward system and stuff. like he gave me a cool teddybear for my birthday and I hated it and loved it at the same time im not sure when I finally got rid of it. he used to take us one by one to another room when we were watching cartoons and I kinda was used to it like ughh again! was so pissed off about not watching the cartoon thats probably why I remember that specific time.

Another thing is he always had this pink orbit chewing gum, you know the kne for kids, that I cant f*cking stand the smell of till today. yuk!

 

[clouds]

Memory suppression is common. But also, our minds don't store every single bit of info about anyt...

that actually is an excellent point!

 

[Deleted member 37343]

This is very possible. It's a coping and survival mechanism where if something so traumatic is happening to us, to prevent any damage our brains will "shut off" and force us to not be "in the moment" or to become passive almost. Some people develop dissociative disorders from this and some, like you, forget the event. It's very common. I have terrible memory that may be caused by my abuse. I can remember so many things crystal clear from around ages 2(late twos) to 5 or so. Maybe even a little younger. Now the the last positive memory I am able to remember so clearly is my first day of kindergarten. After that, I can't recall much -- it's little to nothing and if it's something it's usually random little things or negative experiences. I've been tested and it shows I have both short and long term memory problems. Only a few months ago did I remember the first time my mom threw shoes and other items at me and that was just a few weeks or so into kindergarten, but it was a very clear/vivid memory..

So yes I think it's very normal for people to forget events or to only know very little things. Something as simple as lights turning off can be a memory. I'm sorry you had to go through that experience and I hope you continue on into recovery. :)