Could you please expand on the cue cards or road map part? How would someone create something like that?
I'll try but it's a fairly new concept for me that I'm exploring and finding that it can be useful if my self-awareness is such that I can identify when my behaviour and/or thoughts are in response to something from my past. The self-awareness part is the biggest component to spend time on when building your 'road map'.
So, let's take the map as it is without self-awareness. The travelled portion of the road is so well worn that when stress levels rise or a decent sized trigger happens, there is no other option but to continue on the road you're used to. Even if it leads to a place you don't want to go or isn't the best route through to another more desirable place. It's the road without surprises, one you've travelled a million times.
Now, with self-awareness, you're on the well worn road plodding along and stress or trigger happens. You check in with yourself and are aware that stress is high or you recognize what the trigger was and the reaction you have (these will be different for me and for you). Knowing and recognizing (then accepting it too), will then allow you to pause and see alternate paths off the well travelled road.
When you take one of the 'new paths' - I think it's incredibly important to move slow. If not, we run the risk of backing out to the main road and fear of trying the new path again grows.
As for how would you create it? I write down point form notes in my phone. For triggers I know well (ie - diesel) I use that as the title, then when I encounter that trigger I write down what happens (ie - anger, fight response, heart rate increase, need to command/control, etc), then I write down things that bring me out of it (ie - exercise, focused hands-on work). That's adding 'new paths' to my map......remember that sometimes they won't be available to take - such as if I'm in a meeting and I smell diesel, I'll have to tolerate things until I can back-up and take the path that helps bring things down. Try to be kind to yourself if you can't get back to the 'new path' and you just have to follow the well travelled road out to the other side of things.
Something I've been trying to incorporate consistently is curiosity.....in what I feel, why I feel it, where it comes from and how it arises/feels. I get it wrong all the time, I don't catch it and take the well travelled road loads still. But like everything in this journey, it's practice. Remember you're changing survival tactics - not erasing them, just re-working them so you can live a better life.
Hope this makes sense....
