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Relationship How To Broach It, Or Do I Leave It Unsaid?

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A13

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Hey all,

I dont know how to broach the subject with my partner?
I feel as though I need to talk about it, but I also know I'm not the sufferer and i dont want to trigger something or make him more stressed.
So beginning of the week my sufferer went to his weekly therapy session.. All normal, he text me saying he was home etc..
Few hours later I got home.. Still appearing normal.. Had a kiss and chat about our days (I don't ask about his sessions, if he wants to tell.. He can but I no longer ask) We had a very tame conversation about US cutting the garden some time this week and how lovely the couples next door was, how it was putting ours to shame. (totally in a plesant way, I never came home and said cut the grass, I said we'd both do it a day we're free)
Wow, well he snapped. "let me f*cking finish what I was saying" he shouted and snapped at me.. it went on for a while, I asked him what was wrong. And i got the usual "nothing" reply, and silent treatment started. So I took our dogs out for a walk.. Got back.. Got a few grunts and i went to bed.. Said he'd be up in 10 mins (which with my vet means 2 hours minimum).. I wakened at 6am, 10 mins before I had to get up for work and found he'd slept on the sofa instead of coming to bed!?

I know it isn't all about me, and i can't for a second guess what's going on within him... But I feel like I'm in major bad books, I know I can't be because it was literally a garden conversation.. He never usually goes and sleeps on the sofa instead of coming to bed.. EVER!!...

Am I supposed to let this run its course, do u ask him about it.. What do I do..
How should I be dealing with it. I know Cbt will be difficult, should I expect this behaviour more often? Any help or advice appreciated

Thanks guys :)
 
I think spikes in symptoms/episodes are to be expected for the few days following therapy.

If you approach him with the idea that it's about the lawn/garden, I don't think that's going to really solve anything as the root issue isn't the lawn/garden.

I have symptom spikes around therapy time and everyone knows that I need time alone after therapy and that these episodes are to be expected.
 
I'd leave him be... I agree with @EveHarrington, he's probably dealing with what came up at therapy today.

Stress cup's overflowing.

Mine used to sleep the whole day when he had appointments with the therapist. He just shut down. If he was awake, he was a bit of a shit to everyone. It was a stress reaction. Nothing to do with me, or what he was griping about... Everything to do with the storm in his head.
 
Thanks for the comments :) il take your advice on-board, and see how it goes.
 
Sleeping on the sofa can be a very normal reaction during times that symptoms are flaring. Mine is currently on night #9 there. He has assured me several times that it has nothing to do with me. So I try to remind myself of that as I spend another nearly sleepless night alone.
 
First, I can think of conversations like that one, where I took it as criticism and then also took the emphasis on "we" as MORE criticism because it seemed to imply I wasn't capable of doing things on my own. In my world, that might or might not have been accurate.

My ex used to act like nothing happened after an argument. That kind of freaked me out too. Maybe on a good day you can ask what was going on and find a strategy for handling it that works for both of you.
 
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